


The Will of Causality

by SucculentStrawberries



Series: Omovember - 2019 [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Amusement Parks, Awkward Crush, Awkward Dates, Awkward Flirting, Complete, Crushes, Desperation, Embarrassment, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Haunted Houses, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), Light Angst, Nobody is Dead, Omorashi, Roller Coasters, Secret Crush, Situational Humiliation, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Urination, Wetting, bladdershy, but only bc gundham can't even hold hands without doing the whole social link lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/SucculentStrawberries
Summary: Gundham Tanaka is the Dark Lord of Destruction. Born of an angel and a devil, he and his mighty beast companions typically have no need to involve themselves in human affairs. In a moment of weakness and pity, he is urged to make an exception for at least one day with the mighty future ruler of Novoselic, Sonia Nevermind.Fate is determined to punish him for his hubris...((A oneshot omo fic that got out of hand, now has to be divided into chapters for publishing, and manages to cover three days of Omovember. Day 10: Urgent, but the available restroom is not up to par/ Day 16: Desperate during a date/Day 29: Surprised or Scared into Wetting)





	1. As a Moth is Drawn to a Flame...

**Author's Note:**

> Causality (also referred to as causation, or cause and effect) is efficacy, by which one process or state, a cause, contributes to the production of another process or state, an effect, where the cause is partly responsible for the effect, and the effect is partly dependent on the cause.  
~~~
> 
> I LOVE Gundham and Sonia and wanted to write a simple omo fic with them. Quickly lost the word SIMPLE. This is technically a oneshot (there aren't really 'cliff-hangers' for the chapters, I'm just using them as scene breaks to give you all a place to rest your eyes), but it got way longer than expected (mostly because I couldn't stop myself from adding actual ship fic fluff, oops). It fits rather nicely into omovember though so it worked out! I will list the prompts now, although they don't come into full play until future chapters which I will post in the coming days! 
> 
> Day 10: Urgent, but the available restroom is not up to par/ Day 16: Desperate during a date/Day 29: Surprised or Scared into Wetting
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this, I've had so much fun writing it! <3 I promise there will be much more omo in the rest of it haha. Warning for mild game spoilers I guess, although this takes place within the Island Mode of the game (so an AU of the main plot/nobody dies for those unfamiliar)!

“Isn’t it a beautiful day, Gundham? Thank you for coming here with me! I’m truly glad you could find the time to interrupt your rituals.” 

He allowed his gaze to shift upwards, taking in the afternoon skies. Not a cloud interrupted the cyan expanse, nor was there a breeze blowing. And yet, the temperature was as stable as it had been for the rest of their time here on the island. At first he’d found it unsettling, a place without weather. What awe-inspiring magic did their lagomorphic teacher hold, to ignore the order of nature itself? A place without any danger or problems at all… surely no such paradise existed.

But everything he’d experienced in this place so far seemed to point towards the fact that, perhaps, it did. Their lives had been impressively averse to trials or disaster, with the rest of their classmates spending their days crafting knick-knacks for silly prize tickets or exploring. He’d mostly stuck to the first island (clearly the best choice, given that it had a beach, the hotel that made up their main base of operations, and most importantly, the ranch). At times, he’d also ventured to the park to admire the statue of the island’s four god-like beasts and pay his respects. 

He’d seen no need to visit anywhere else, content to spend his time practicing sorcery or training with his four-legged comrades. However, despite his best attempts to remain aloof and out of his peer group’s childish schemes, one of them insisted on trying to get close, no matter how often he warned her otherwise. She was as stubborn as the largest bull, and she had an uncanny knack for whittling down his defenses. Over the past two or three weeks, he’d finally relented and allowed her to join him for simpler tasks, as long as she kept a safe distance from any chalk or salt lines and didn’t open his more advanced tomes. She… was quite an adept student. For a mortal. Full of vigor and many questions, eager to learn and listen. 

The Dark Devas found her a worthy accomplice, and he was inclined to agree. She was also in the habit of bringing divine offerings of coveted dried pumpkin seeds whenever she visited, which was highly appreciated. And her bejewled hair brush. Jum-P was especially fond of that.

So when this morning she’d pulled him aside immediately after breakfast and asked if he would accompany her on her journey to the mysterious ‘Amusement Park’, his companions urged him to indulge her. It would be a new experience for the both of them, and since he’d chosen all of their activities so far, it seemed only fair that he tip the scales in her favour once in a blue moon.

It was… amusing, to see her smile. Even if it also caused the strangest curses to befall him, like the distinct feeling that there was a hoard of moths flapping around in his stomach. And that all of their wings were aflame.

Perhaps the sudden onset of nerves was simply his overwhelming eagerness to rush out of the hotel and across the bridges before that goblin follower of hers tracked them down. Hell seemed to have given him a break today, because they had managed to make it all the way to the gate without a magenta braid in sight.

He brought his gaze away from the sky and back down to Earth, studying the princess standing next to him. “The pleasure is mine, dear maiden. After all, a sorcerer of  _ my caliber _ couldn’t allow you to explore such a place alone. Who knows what lurks in the castle beyond?” An ominous chuckle slipped from his lips as he stared at the looming building in the distance. Truly an impressive structure. And as for the fine weather… “The warm sun today will also be excellent for my Dark Devas to bask in.”

“Yes, I do hope they enjoy themselves!” She held her hands out, waiting patiently for permission, and the lowest ranking Deva crawled down to sit in her palm, gracing her with the pleasure of being allowed to pet him. “They’ve been working so hard lately, they deserve a vacation!” the blonde cooed, scratching just the right spot for Jum-P to doze off. “You deserve one too, of course! Sometimes I worry you overwork yourself!”

“What a preposterous statement!” he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at her. “Perhaps you mortals find my activities taxing, but I daresay I’ve only been using two-thirds of my power! It would take  _ far more _ to overwhelm a demon overlord!” he assured her, striking one of his best power-poses to illustrate his point. 

She marveled very appropriately at his intimidating stance and the supernatural energies swirling from his aura, a serene smile on her lips. “It’s good that you aren’t weary, but either way, it’s still good to get out and do something new, isn’t it? Perhaps you’ll even unlock different kinds of magic here!”

That wasn’t exactly how it worked, but he appreciated her attempt to bring up the subject. She would learn how magic truly worked in time.

“Well, if you are ready to cease our pointless chatter, I believe we have formidable terrain to explore...” he prompted, gesturing inside the gate. “Let us hesitate no longer!”

“Of course! Thank you, Gundham!” The princess placed the dozing Jum-P back into his scarf before she dipped her head and took the lead, almost skipping into the massive park. He strode behind her with a wiser dose of caution, studying the area for any potential threats.

It was a rather chaotic place, with different structures packing the streets and even more towering overhead and looping around them. Several establishments seemed ready to offer provisions to replenish their energy, and there were many intriguing tests of skill or courage lining one boardwalk. They appeared to offer prizes, although he was unsure how useful any of them would be. They seemed more like small man-made trinkets than any substantial reward for such herculean tasks. 

One building sat far beyond the others, tucked back in the shadows. A decrepit house, or what had once been one before its corpse had rotted beyond recognition. Broken glass and cobwebs seemed to decorate every open, glowing window, and he could hear distinct cackling and screams coming from within its bowels. A homestead for the dead, clearly, with ominous energy cascading from every pore...

There were also many horrific torture devices stationed around them. Whatever monstrous demons or traps lurked in the castle, surely they paled in comparison to the ones out here. Rockets left to flail on little more than a piece of string soared above, and to the far right he could see a devilish wooden boat designed to plunge down a mountain waterfall. Not to mention a winding maze of metal tracks that seemed to encompass the skies wherever he looked, occasionally carrying a bullet train that whipped by before he could blink.

His Dark Devas shook under his scarf when they noticed how closely the princess was studying the labels near each torture device, and he was beginning to wonder if he’d made a grave error coming here.

Still, even if he had, he would fight against his impending death until the very end. To do otherwise would be cowardly, not to mention ill-mannered. He had already committed to visiting this strange new world, and he couldn’t abandon a woman here all by herself. Especially not when she’d been so considerate as to invite him in the first place. So he took a breath to steel himself, muttered a select few sentences in tongues to encourage his Devas, and increased his stride until he was beside the princess once again.

Thankfully, she paused to point at something far less sickening than everything they had come across thus far.

“Ooh, let us ride the ‘Carousel’ first!” the princess cried, staring up at the whimsical device. He had actually used these once or twice as a fledgling, although of course those had been much smaller in scale, taking mere quarters. But here, nothing seemed to require any sort of payment. 

“Ahahah, a most excellent choice indeed, maiden! Now, let us see which beast is a worthy mount for the ruler,  _ Gundham Tanaka! _ ” He stalked around the contraption, taking in every angle and examining the many creatures on display. They were truly divine models, crafted with care and adorned in fine golden trappings and colourful saddles. Gentle squeaks found their way into his ear, and he brought his right arm in front of him, waiting as San-D scampered across. She had stuffed her sunflower seeds into her cheeks to leave both paws free, now pointing animatedly at a particular beast. “Yes, that one is perfect! Such speed and power, and finely-tuned senses beyond measure!” 

As he leapt onto the pole and got situated, ensuring all four of his companions were safely seated where they would have a proper view, the princess clapped her hands. “Oh, a bunny rabbit! How adorable! Hmm, I’ll go with… this one then!” She hurried over to climb on top of a male lion directly behind him, its jaws parted with fangs bared and its paws stretched outwards. Once they began moving, it would surely be leaping to sink its claws into his flanks.

“I suppose that is a decent enough second-choice.” he chuckled, studying the predator one more time. “The lion has many impressive attributes. And its glorious mane suits your own regality.” That last comment had been a mere observation, but he began to regret it the moment it had left his traitorous lips. Was that too forward of a compliment? Something that could be misconstrued?

The princess did not seem off put, thank the devil. If anything, she was  _ flattered _ , grinning at him with a smile that could rival any full moon’s glow. “Really, you think so? I actually chose this one for its muscular structure, but I suppose our hair does have a similarity!” After a moment of comparing her own mane to that of the ceramic statue beneath her, she sat back up and gripped the pole, her fingers drumming against it. “Hmm… Gundham, do you know how we are supposed to activate this contraption? If there is no payment required, and no one here to operate it, how do you suppose it knows when to mo-  _ Oh my! _ ” 

In the middle of her sentence, they’d both had to scramble to grasp their mounts, the world beginning to rise up and down around them. All at once, their surroundings flared to life! Lights of white and pale pastels twinkled around them from the borders of the ride’s canopy, just faintly visible in the daylight. Organ music and music box tunes swelled up from what sounded like every direction, their chosen beasts beginning to bob and bound to the beat. If he had to hazard a guess, he would say that this park was enchanted with a powerful and quite advanced aura-reading spell, making it perfectly equipped to serve its guests' whims at all times. She would likely say it had something to do with their teacher, remote technology, and the many spying devices littered around the islands, but that was just preposterous. If Miss Usami had any way of assisting them, it was  _ certainly _ through her magic wand.

Nevertheless, the reasoning behind these events did not matter. Either way, the fact remained that this ride, and the scenery around them, was  _ glorious! _

As they began to pick up the pace, he glanced back at the maiden behind him, only to see her reaching out for the end of his trailing scarf. Strands of spun gold billowed behind her, more than resembling the feline chasing after him, and he caught the playful gleam in her eye.

“Cats chase rodents, do they not?” the princess called, just missing the purple cloth by a few inches. “How agilely can you and your Devas leap?”

“Swiftly and high enough to avoid your reach!” he taunted, leaning forwards while his comrades rushed to pull his trailing garment back towards them. “See how close we are to reaching the ceiling of this tent? I daresay if we wished, we could soar right out of it in a single bound!” He cackled, reaching up to try and tap the top of the ride. His fingertips just barely brushed it.

“Your pride is admirable, but do not allow it to turn into foolishness. You are not invincible, and you cannot run in circles forever!” While her own wicked cackle still had room for improvement, it was a worthy attempt for such a kind-hearted soul. “When your beast grows tired, I shall be directly behind to capture you! And then you will be at my mercy!”

He had not expected this battle of jests, but he certainly wasn’t opposed to it. Nay, it was a welcome challenge, a testing of mettle he had yet to experience on this island. Most of his peers were cowards or imbeciles, unfit to go toe-to-toe with him and his mighty army. But this girl…  _ yes, _ her boldness, unflinching in the face of his power… it was impressive indeed. The casualty with which she provoked him implied she was certain she could win, and sometimes, he almost found himself wishing she would...

However, the excitement of such a prospect was not entirely a pleasant feeling. It was also deeply unsettling. Mostly because it had unsettled the hoard of hellfire moths fluttering inside his organs again. They were growing more restless than before, and combined with the spinning of this ride, he would be foolish to pretend he wasn’t concerned. Vomiting half-digested insects onto the floor of this device was not an appropriate response to this situation, not only because it would be showing weakness, but also because it was  _ blasphemously disgusting.  _

In fact, he was unable to echo her laughter anymore, keeping his lips closed to offer her a mere smirk before he turned back around, hunching forwards to focus on their ‘race’. Maga-Z, ever dominant with the females of his own species, nipped at his bandaged arm for his cowardice.  _ ‘Are you not the highest ranking of the humans? The alpha of our pack?’, _ Maga-Z aimed to remind him, and he tried to shoo the little devil back up to his shoulder. _ ‘Then why do you not move to claim what is yours? When Jum-P invaded, I chased him away, and then I attacked Cham-P, and even you when you foolishly intervened. I have no fear, and I enjoy my spoils!’  _ Finally, his battle-scarred companion climbed back up to chitter in his ear, although he had no desire to listen to what his friend was saying. ‘ _ And yet when the fanged low-rank encroaches, you do nothing. When you have a chance to gain favour now, you withdraw. You are letting a worthy mate slip-’ _

“Silence, you irksome pest!” he hissed under his breath. The steam coming from his ears must have burned Maga-Z, because he finally scampered into the folds of the scarf without another word. He would discuss the creature’s insubordination later, but for now, he was simply grateful to avoid further interrogation.

There were no moves to be made, how could his comrade not understand that? His relationship with the maiden was destined to remain like this ride. They were to maintain a comfortable distance, a barrier that couldn’t be crossed. If she attempted to get too close, he would step back and cast another salt-line in the sand. He could offer her mentorship, or even the occasional outing like this, but nothing more. 

There would never be significant progress, and perhaps eventually, she would tire of trying. 

That was for the best. He could not afford to become entangled with a mortal, and he could not bring the plagues of himself and his life’s dangers upon her…

Still, as the ride finally began to slow to a crawl, and then their beasts paws alighted upon the ground once more, he found it was difficult to avoid giving in to temptation. As soon as he’d managed to climb down off of his mount, the princess had seemingly teleported in front of him, slapping her hands onto the rabbit. He was now trapped in a cage, his back pressed against the statue, and her arms and che- _ face  _ blocking him on either side.

“Mwahahaha! See, I have finally captured you!  _ No one _ can outrun the mighty Novoselic lion!” 

“So it appears…” he murmured, fighting to keep his tone apathetic. It was a task made rather difficult when she seemed to have stolen all of the oxygen from the air. “What, praytell, do you… plan to do with me?”

Her lips quirked, a smile that would have been serene if not for the devilish mischief sparkling in her eyes. A proper trickster, she was. “Drag you with me to the next attraction, of course! Since I’ve won, I should get to pick our next venture, yes?”

Slowly, he found himself releasing a breath he didn’t realize his lungs had entrapped. So she simply wanted to take him to another part of this magical land. Of course.

He supposed the wise thing to do would be to decline. Claim that this one activity had been enough, that he had urgent tasks on his schedule to complete elsewhere on the islands. To put some space between them for a while, at least until the bewitchments tormenting his chest and stomach settled. 

That would have been the wise and noble thing, but instead he found his mouth and body puppeteered by an unknown deity. Despite every plan to the contrary, he grinned and dipped his head, humming his approval. “Very well, princess. While I am not ordinarily one to be captured or take commands from mortals,  _ just this once _ , I will do whatever you say.” He couldn’t help the strange, burning energy rushing through his veins, raising his voice as she stepped away to give him room to pose. “Lead me wherever you wish! I shall follow you to the very  _ gallows _ if you so choose!”

Just this once.

To brush his duties aside for just this  _ one day _ was acceptable, certainly?

~~~

How utterly foolish he was, to  _ dare _ believe he wouldn’t be punished for his hubris. The gods of hell were determined to strike back at him for his sins, and they had picked a most dastardly punishment. As he stared up at the massive torture device, feeling his bones rattling from his toes to his teeth, his blood turning to ice and prickling his skin, and his bladder threatening to void like a startled pup, he wondered why he had ever thought  _ a mere mortal woman _ was worth this.

But then a voice of pure enchantment called his name, and limbs that should have been dead and heavy as stone began to step forwards and into the cart. He wasn’t in control of his own arms, watching from outside his corporeal form as they pulled a black bar down to trap him to the seat. His heart pulsed frantically, pleading to escape the jail cell before it risked stopping for eternity, but he was powerless to assist. No, he was doomed to sit here in this _ metal death chamber,  _ next to the sorceress who had commanded him here.

At least his Devas were all going to survive, he thought dimly, casting a quick glance at the park bench they were all sitting on. Eight sorrowful eyes stared up at him, conveying affection, loyalty, and mourning. He hoped he was an adequate Master, and that they would all find a worthy caretaker to replace him. 

“I’m sorry they can’t join us…” the maiden sighed. “But you were correct, this would be too loud for their poor little ears! And we certainly wouldn’t want them to blow away from the g-force!” Brightening up slightly, she gave a light wave of farewell to his comrades. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to bring him back safely! And then we’ll get you all a treat! Now, hold on Gundham!”

He did not exactly have a choice in the matter. His fingers had locked into a death grip on the bar the moment he’d sat down, and as soon as they began to move his knuckles grew whiter than bleached bone. 

_ I do not fear death. I do not fear death. I do not fear death- _

The agonizing crawl to the top of the hill ceased for a few moments. In those heartbeats, a blanket of suffocating silence seemed to fall over them both, over the world itself. Neither of them dared to breathe or move a muscle, staring at the vast expanse of sky ahead of them with bated breath. Time itself stood still, and he briefly wondered if he had managed to cast that exact effect in a spell. 

Then the ground began rocketing upwards to meet them in a rush of wailing wind, and his soul was torn from his body in a gut wrenching howl.

_ Please forgive me for my moment of weakness, oh mighty Dark Lord! Demons of hell, I beg of you, do not drag me down to join you just yet!  _

He barely registered the squeals of unbridled joy coming from his fellow passenger. His throat was raw, his screams slowly withering into silent terror. He could feel every ounce of blood evaporating from his body, positive he was paler than a winter phantom.

_ I have so many tasks left to accomplish! Your work to carry on! My demon beasts to tame!  _

The world lurched around and around until the sky was on the ground and the ground was in the sky, and his prayers grew in their desperation. This was deeper than hell. This was deeper than True Hell. This was the ninth-no, the  _ tenth _ layer of hell. They had transcended from a theme park ride into the tortuous journey of the damned!

_ Please allow my pitiful sack of flesh to survive on this mortal plane another day, and I will press my face into the dirt and prostrate myself before you! _

In a rare and  _ exceedingly gracious _ show of mercy, they allowed him to live. As the deadly instrument lurched to a screeching halt, the breath once again knocked from his wretched corpse, the prison bar was raised. The world was still spinning and blurring, but he did see the princess getting out and holding the cart door for him, a downright manic smile on her face.

“Wasn’t that fun, Gundham!?! This ‘roller coaster’ was even more impressive than I imagined! Oh, I don’t believe I’ve ever had such an  _ exhilarating _ experience before! Even the yearly military practice battles in Novoselic don’t compare to this!”

He could not give her an adequate response, seeing as he was utterly incapable of speech for the moment. Perhaps his vocal chords had been stolen by demons during the ride, or he simply destroyed them with all of his guttural wails. As it was, he was struggling to pull the breath back into his lungs. When he gathered the strength of will to climb out of the car, every molecule in his measly human shell seemed to quake. His field of vision was swiftly encroached upon by black and white specks, which he might have mistaken for the ability to see new auras, if not for the ringing filling his ears. 

He was dimly aware of fur brushing his neck and paws tapping his cheeks. So his pack had returned to him in his final hours… Yes, if he was to die after all, collapse to the ground right now, it would be a worthy send-off now that they were here...

“Gundham?” When he failed to register the call, the maiden snapped her fingers in front of him, finally managing to snap him out of his stupor. “ _ Gundham,  _ are you alright? You look terribly pale! Are you ill?”

“Just… simply basking in the afterglow…” he managed to gasp out, forcing himself to stay standing despite the increasingly comfortable look of the cobblestone floor. “I haven’t experienced such divine torture and chaos in many years on this mortal plane… My cells are still absorbing the demonic energy I have been exposed to.”

“Ah, I see…” The princess didn’t seem like she saw very clearly at all, cocking her head at him and allowing the creases in her forehead to stay. “Well, if your cells need time to recharge before you are at full power again, perhaps we could find a place to sit?”

“If your pitiful mortal body is in need of rest, you needn’t be ashamed to admit so.” he chuckled, stepping forwards with the assistance of the Devas pointing out which direction he should be walking in. Yes, with their divine senses, he could navigate blindly! Or at least, while his vision was still spotting and his inner ear was utterly shot. “As eager as I am for our next harrowing quest, I shall be patient.”

The maiden stayed remarkably close to him as he walked, keeping her hands raised as if she half-expected to have to catch him. How absurd. He was perfectly capable of movement, and the bravest of adventurers knew to stray from the straight paths! Zig-zagging was an advantage, not a weakness! 

“Very well. You know, the sun above suggests it is midday. I believe it would be best to take this break to nourish ourselves, don’t you agree? We passed some tables near the booths earlier, we could have a picnic!” She seemed delighted at the prospect. Frankly, the idea of ingesting anything at the moment made his innards churn with disgust. Or perhaps they were just churning in general. Yet another hideous symptom from that last attraction…

“I suppose that would be an amicable way to spend our period of rest…” he murmured. “Although I do not require nearly as much sustenance as you do, mortal. I could survive on an empty stomach for days if need be!”

“Yes, I am certain you could. But that isn’t needed today, is it?” How dare she question him in such a manner, pointing out the obvious! A crafty one indeed, turning his own phrasing against him. “You must maintain your strength!” she emphasized, with a determination in her gaze that made it difficult to argue. He murmured the vaguest acquiescence, and she seemed satisfied, smiling at him before her attention shifted to the assistants on his shoulders. “Oh, and I did promise the Devas a treat! Surely there are at least a few confections here that they would enjoy?” 

“I believe I smelled some popped corn during our previous trek.” he advised, unable to help a hint of a smile as his comrades perked up. “As long as it is untainted by salts or sweets, they shall consider that a worthy penance for your earlier crimes of abandonment!”

“Then I shall get them the finest of plain popcorn!” the maiden vowed proudly. As they finally approached the picnic tables, she urged him to sit down, and he was all too ready to oblige, nearly collapsing onto the pink-painted bench. “Please wait here and keep them entertained!” the princess commanded. “I shall return promptly!”

As she skipped away towards the food stalls, he set the Devas down onto the table, then rubbed at his temples with a deep exhale. The fact that the princess found ‘fun’ in that ordeal was a concept he couldn’t grasp, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to probe for answers. Whatever wickedness allowed her to find entertainment in such torture was a darkness even he wouldn’t prefer to touch…

Still, mortals led far less exciting lives than his own kind, so he would let her get her thrills where she could. There was something admirable about the way she faced death head on. Or perhaps she was simply oblivious to how dangerous that contraption was. Foolishness and bravery were two sides of the same coin, after all.

He continued to sit there in contemplation, absentmindedly stroking San-D’s cheeks (for once not swollen with sunflower seeds, as she saved room for an even more-coveted treat). Now that he was in silence and on solid ground, his body was finally beginning to recover from the hell he’d been through. The dizziness and shuddering of his limbs was fading, and his heartbeat was returning to normal. He was still gripped by vague nausea, of course, but the Devas would get to feast, and that was his true priority. 

However, there was one symptom that had not dissipated, and that realization frayed at his nerves. The nagging urge in his bladder had not been a single moment of fight-or-flight instinct, but remained pulsing, and he shifted in his seat with a huff of discontent. So  _ this _ was his true punishment then. The ‘roller coaster’ had merely been an added bit of amusement for the demons below.

This was going to be… most inconvenient.

He supposed he himself was to blame as much as fate itself. After all, he was the fool who had run off after breakfast without once thinking to take care of things first. In his haste to avoid one enemy during his trip with the princess, he’d only made an enemy of his own body. And then he’d allowed himself to become so distracted with these silly human rides that he hadn’t spared attention for his own signals.

Oh, the gods of hell were _ surely _ cackling at him now. To display such  _ arrogance, _ to think he could defy the very nature of his being in order to appease a divine maiden… yes, he deserved to have his ego whittled down, chipped away by the incessant reminder of his weakness so that he couldn’t become truly enraptured by this trip.

_ I have received your message, you sadistic fiends… _

He would accept this lesson in humility, and the time limit they had now set for him. However, he was still bound by his word to finish out the day. Even if the forces beyond forbade him from courting a mortal woman, they would not approve of him abandoning her in her hour of need either. An oath was an oath, and one bound by spoken word was just as bona fide as one bound in blood.

He would have no difficulty managing this task. He was thoroughly trained in the art of persevering in the face of difficult circumstances, even his own limitations. Whether it be sleep deprivation during night vigils, or subduing a panicked beast whilst bleeding from open wounds, he would pass any test.

The solution to this one was simple, at least. He would only have to limit his liquid intake for the remainder of the day, perhaps bordering on dehydration. That would allow him to account for plenty of time to trek back to his lair on the first island after they left this place.

“I have returned, Divine Ones!” He forced himself to sit up as the princess took her place across from him. She was carrying quite a hoard in her arms, and he began to wonder if he should have accompanied her to assist. “I bring you this offering, I hope it pleases you!” With a respectful bow, she set a large open bag of plain popcorn in the middle of the table, its glorious cloudy kernels spilling out in a bounty. The Devas dove in without hesitation, squeaking and squealing as they stuffed their cheek pouches with reckless abandon.

“You have gained their favour… for the time being.” he chuckled. His gaze soon travelled to the assortment of other items she was arranging. “What is the meaning of all this?”

“I believe this place may have delicacies even Teruteru has yet to discover!” she explained, gesturing to the feast she’d now spread out before them. “I have never seen so many dishes with these glimmering coatings! And I certainly have never been served some of these deserts! They have even managed to make ice cream hard!”

A true buffet of fried confections, indeed. She had managed to locate nearly every grease-coated object in the vicinity. Unless there was vegetation hidden in at least one of the orbs of dough, he would wager there wasn’t a natural option to be found. Fair enough. He had eaten a quite nourishing breakfast earlier, with more than enough sustenance to have energy for the day.

“Yes, mortals certainly know how to create… intriguing dishes.” he murmured, hoping that would suffice. “Please, indulge yourself. I hope you delight in the experience.”

“Oh? You don’t wish to have any? You really must eat  _ something! _ ” Ugh, she was looking up at him with such concern… as if she might be stabbed through the chest if he were to refuse. He studied the provisions available, debating which would be the least dangerous to his current condition.

“This offering will suffice.” He reached towards one of the piles of snow she had sitting in cups, decorated with differently coloured syrups. This one had been appropriately bloodied, scarlet stains in dark contrast to the light strawberry flavour. True, the snow would melt into liquid eventually, but that would be preferable to trying to choke down anything with more weight. He already had a hoard of worms writhing within his stomach, anxiety niggling whenever the maiden smiled at him. Her expression was far too warm, casting beams to heat his own face.

“Alright then.” The princess reached for some fried bread on a stick, only to pause. “Oh yes, I’d nearly forgotten. You need to stay hydrated as well! Here, I thought these looked quite interesting!” Before he could protest, she passed him a brightly-labeled can, the condensation on his hand alone threatening to make him shiver. “I am used to wine and water, or the occasional fruit punch, but I have only ever seen these during animated programs! If you shake them, they become an improvised grenade, yes?”

“They are formidable weapons in devilish hands, yes…” he murmured. “I do not recommend attempting such tomfoolery, unless you have access to holy water to cleanse yourself.” It may entertain her in the moment, but surely she would not enjoy becoming akin to a slug’s stickiness for the remainder of the day.

“Ah, that  _ is  _ an excellent point…” she giggled, setting her own can down carefully upon the table. “Very well, I will use surgical precision.” As she took care to open her own, taking experimental sips and commenting about the strangeness of the bubbles, he stared at his own can.

‘Soda’ was a wicked, unnatural concoction, and ordinarily he would never deign to bring it past his lips. It was only a few steps removed from the most potent of acids, burning flesh of the mouth, and had the additional effects of leaving his entire form convulsing with jitters and the triple heart-rate of a domesticated feline. It would also make the demanding presence in his abdomen even more difficult to ignore, which he would truly prefer to avoid.

However, even if he loathed it as much as he did the man who shared its name, it would be a most dastardly sin to reject an offering from such a kindhearted woman. If he could manage to ingest poison for years just to appease the angel who created it, he could stand to swallow whatever this well-meaning princess burdened him with. She did not deserve to be offended or brushed aside.

Ignoring the concerned stares of Cham-P and Jum-P, who had no doubt realized his predicament by this point, he forced himself to keep sipping from the can while the maiden started chattering away, still enthusiastic about the death trap they had just escaped from. Fortunately, he was well-practiced in hiding any revulsion from his face, and she remained blissfully unaware of his discomfort on both accounts. When he had finished the frozen treat and his drink and she implored him to share a lemonade with her, he didn’t flinch.

This miniscule suffering was certainly worth it, he decided as he witnessed the joy lighting up her expression. She beamed brighter than the sunlight above, and happiness (such a fleeting emotion to find in a cruel world as this) didn’t deserve to be ruined by his own selfish desires.

Thankfully, he sat with his legs crossed so often (it was such a regal pose, and it had the added benefit of preventing his imposingly tall legs from kicking her under the table) that it wouldn’t arouse suspicion in the slightest. He could maintain the discipline to avoid any needless fidgeting, and endure whatever further trials she wanted to throw at him. He would sit here stoically and listen to her speak for hours,  _ eternities _ if she demanded it. Anything to fulfill his pledge to her...


	2. The Festering of Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's omo time!!! Enjoy some actual desperation and a few surprises! Spooks and dangers abound in this chapter! Happy omovember!

Judging by the afternoon sun’s positioning, another hour of mortal time had passed since they’d sat down for sustenance.

By the fires of hell, _was_ _that all?_

Insisting on the importance of rest before their exciting journey ahead, the princess had practically chained him and his Devas to the table with her snares of conversation. He made sure to offer adequate input to her queries or chuckle at her jokes when appropriate, but it was growing increasingly grueling to concentrate. As he’d dreaded, the earlier concoctions were swiftly wreaking havoc upon his organs, and he didn’t have any sort of counter-curse to cast. No, all he could do was retain his facade of pleasantries, and try desperately to ignore the swelling against his belt.

Every inhale seemed firmly insistent on ensuring he _couldn’t _ignore it. A sharp throb with every squeeze of the binding black leather had him thinning his breaths, and he was positive a few times he’d actually felt the liquid making its way through his urethra before he’d clenched the opening closed, just barely biting back a gasp.

His fingers twitched, and he busied himself adjusting his two rings on his bare hand, just to keep them from getting ideas of wandering elsewhere. His grip was unsteady, fingertips trembling, and he once again loathed the repulsive ‘caffeine’ he’d been forced to drink.

Such a dastardly potion, overloading his body with a buzzing, frantic energy that he had no idea how to dispel! It was distilled chaos magic in a can! He finally settled for uncrossing his legs, jiggling one up and down underneath the table. That seemed to serve well enough in balancing out the restlessness for the time being, but it was surely not an adequate solution.

What a cruel fate, to be trapped here like this! He was no stranger to long periods of sitting in one place, but in his current state he couldn’t stand it. He needed to explore, distract himself, _ anything _ to ease the constant barrage of signals coming from within.

He relented and allowed himself to hunch forward a few degrees, folding his arms on the tabletop under the guise of leaning in to converse with more enthusiasm. It didn’t seem to ease the growing pressure in the slightest.

Why on earth had he consumed a second glass of orange nectar with breakfast? Why had he been so weak as to allow himself to be lured away without making his usual stop? Why-

“I believe the Devas have had adequate time to digest their feast.” The maiden’s voice finally brought his racing thoughts to a halt, and he snapped back to attention. She was scratching a very content Cham-P’s chin, his glorious form now showcasing even more impressive girth. The other Devas were equally satisfied, carefully grooming the last crumbs of popcorn fluff from their pelts and whiskers. As strained as he currently was, he allowed himself the slightest hint of a smile at their happiness.

“Yes, this has been a most momentous day for them! The day a bounty of clouds rained from above will be recounted for generations to come!”

“I’m thrilled that I could make them so happy!” The princess giggled, before turning her attention back towards him. He was quite conflicted about that development. “Anyhow, if you are feeling bet- er, I mean to say, now that my feeble mortal frame has regained its strength, shall we discuss our next destination?”

Oh sweet song of Satan, how he’d longed to hear those words! The sooner they got through the rest of her plans and she was satisfied, the sooner he could find his own bliss. “Yes, let us resume our journey, until we have dominated the entirety of this domain!” He started to cackle, only to immediately think better of it. Instead, he settled for a wicked grin that he hoped hid the jolt of pain he’d just experienced. He would have to be a hint less exuberant if he had any desire to minimize his agony… “Which of these contraptions shall we conquer?”

“Actually, there was a simply delightful building that caught my eye earlier! It was very quaintly decorated, unlike any we had in Novoselic!”

“Then we shall trek there at once!” he declared, rushing to stand from his seat. Only as he flung his legs over the bench and straightened up did he realize what a horrific idea that had been. His bladder wailed in damning protest, and it took every ounce of willpower he possessed to resist the impulse to hunch back over or gasp aloud. Gravity was a powerful force indeed, pulling the ocean inside him downwards as relentlessly as the moon gripped onto the tide, and his muscles shuddered with the effort needed to prevent anything from flooding out onto the shore.

_ It will take more than that to defeat me, earthly forces! _ he thought smugly, striding along beside the princess as soon as the Devas had climbed back up to ride upon his shoulders. _ I have the strength of hell itself on my side! _

Despite that telepathic declaration to this dimension and those beyond, his confidence began to evaporate as soon as the building came into his sightline. This was _ not _ the sort of residence he would describe as ‘quaint’...

“See, isn’t it just wonderful?” The maiden stared at the decaying home he had noticed upon their first investigation of the park, and he wondered if there was perhaps a glamour charm obscuring the truth of the dwelling from her view. Even now, he could see numerous clouds of dark energy emanating from the area, and in fact, the very sky around this one place seemed to be shrouded in fog and shadow, obscuring the afternoon sunlight. But he did not know of a similar spell that worked on auditory senses, and she seemed perfectly capable of hearing the agonized screams and wails filling the air. 

“As you know, I am no stranger to the aesthetic perfection of doom and gloom…” he murmured. “Even so, should a location this somber be disturbed? Perhaps we should respect the trapped beings that reside within…”

“Oh, it is alright! See, there’s even a sign saying we are allowed to enter!” The princess stepped aside to showcase a shoddily-constructed wooden post, no doubt one of Miss Usami’s craft projects. **‘ENTER (if you dareee…)’** was splattered in paint just a few shades too dark to pass as anything horrifying. Scarlet red… honestly, had their teacher never seen blood before?

Critiquing the sign itself did not provide the benefit of easing the discomfort in his chest that he’d hoped for. In fact, he felt very much like the child-like doodle of Usami’s horrified face that also decorated the sign. He may take on dangerous tasks, but he was no fool, and this was a place he had no desire to explore.

“You are… inexperienced in such places, are you not?” He suggested carefully, glancing her up and down. She was practically bouncing on her heels, hands clasped together in eagerness. He prayed he didn’t disappoint her too badly. “Perhaps this particular task should be reserved for when you have ascended to a higher level of power…”

“But my inexperience is_ precisely _ why I must partake, you see!” The maiden countered with much more conviction in her tone than he was expecting, momentarily taken aback by her intense gaze. She had stepped closer until she was less than a foot away, staring up at him. “You know very well of my passions for the most gruesome and undesirable! I have witnessed many films from all countries, and ready many books or case studies, but one aspect of horror I have yet to enjoy is a ‘Haunted House’! A veritable maze of rooms, so dark you can scarcely see in front of you until it is too late, with the only light source designed to disorient you! Horrific entities springing out to chase and harass you from all directions, and sounds that make you wish you could plug your own ears! It seems as if that would be _ the best trial possible _ to prepare me to face the fiends you and your Devas battle on a daily basis!”

In the silence he spent trying to find a worthy rebuttal, those aquamarine eyes pleaded with him, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “We do not celebrate ‘Halloween’ in my home country, so I have only ever witnessed these in media! I would truly be honoured if you would escort me! The best way I could possibly learn is to witness how you traverse such obstacles, is it not?”

“I suppose that is a rather compelling argument…” he murmured, furrowing his brows. What could he say to discredit that? Especially when she was so overjoyed at the prospect. Could he deny her a lifelong dream for his own wretched reasons? However, she suddenly whipped around to turn from him, staring once more at the entrance. He just barely spotted white and ginger hindquarters vanishing into the yawning mouth.

“Ah! See, three of the Devas have already run inside! I suppose they wished to take the lead, how valiant!” The princess clapped, eyes shining with wonder, and for the first time in his life he truly resented his comrades (Cham-P excluded, of course). Not only had they taken on a risk that could very well endanger their lives, but they had made him look pitiful in the process! Only a cowardly whelp would turn tail when his own companions had been brave enough to enter…

He had not yet given permission nor agreed, but he had now. Biting back a groan, he forced a smile and strode ahead, beckoning for the maiden to join him. “Come along now! We cannot allow them to beat us to the finish line, can we?”

And with her giggles juxtaposed against the pain-ridded screams filling the air, they entered the portal to the monsters’ breeding grounds...

~~~

The veil of shadows was truly the only thing allowing him to keep his composure, and he dreaded the moment it would be stolen from him. He wasn't one for _ hiding _ , of course, but the occasional moment of _ stealth _ was a different matter entirely. And he certainly was making use of it now. His unbandaged hand had managed to creep between his legs, squeezing whenever a surprise invader forced him to tense up. He would normally never dream of performing such an indecent act, but these were special circumstances, and the maiden could barely make out more than his scarlet eye anyhow. Whenever they were forced to stand still while she studied the maze for their next path, he allowed his weight to shift between different stances, at one point even hopping on his toes. 

His Devas, now all reunited within his scarf, were clearly becoming concerned with his restlessness. He could feel the worry cascading from their auras in waves, but it couldn't be helped. He couldn't abandon the maiden in such a horrific building! And… truth be told, he'd been so preoccupied over the time spent in here that he hadn't had attention to spare for the routes they'd taken thus far. He doubted he could find the old route for retreat any faster than he would find the exit by following the princess. So he was forced to remain here, creeping along at a snail's divine pace and trying his best to ignore the startling screams around him. 

Oath or not, this place had taught him that he absolutely couldn’t manage any attractions after this. Every trembling step and desperate duck to avoid a passing vampire or ghoul had nearly made him lose control, and he couldn’t bring himself to think of anything else. 

As soon as they made it out of this demons' nest alive, he would find an excuse to bid her farewell. This would be a highlight of the day for her, surely, so perhaps she wouldn’t mind if he had to retreat early. If not, he would simply vanish. Whatever was necessary to get back before he-

** _“NYEHEHEHEHEEEEEE!!!”_ **

It was an _ unholy _ screeching, shrill laughter erupting from every corner of the room, and he hardly realized his own ongoing scream had joined the noise. He stumbled backwards in the darkness, frantically scanning the flickering lights to try and track where their future attackers were coming from, but they were faster than a cheetah at top sprint, appearing in front of him the moment he blinked. Hideous green women with rotting faces, still cackling as they leered down at him.

He had no idea if he was still screaming, because there was also the choking sensation of his heart sitting inside his throat.

“_ Begone, _ foul wench!” The princess’ voice suddenly called over the sneering laughter. “I order you to retreat, before I drag you from the premises in a black bag!” 

He was shocked to see his escort tackling into the group of monsters. As the lights flashed again, he caught a glimpse of her fist plunging through one of their faces. After a few garbled screams that devolved into eerie moans, the demons were swiftly silenced. As he heard her stand up, the pile of corpses shuffling beneath her feet, he tried to calm his frantic breathing. Cham-P didn’t seem to be faring much better, shivering against his neck. The other three were chittering angrily, upset that they had been beaten to the punch, but he was secretly grateful they hadn’t entered the fray. 

“Gundham? You are still over there, yes? Your clothing, though quite fashionable, is rather difficult to see in the dark!”

“Yes…” he breathed out, taking great effort not to allow his voice to quake. His heart felt as if it was going to burst from his chest, adrenaline still rushing through his veins. “I am still here. The Devas are present as well.”

“Oh good, I’m glad they haven’t run off!” The princess sighed, feeling along a nearby wall until she’d followed his voice and caught the gleam of his eye. “Are you alright?”

Well, _ of course _ he was going to say he was, and ‘what sort of weakling did she take him for?’, but he swiftly realized he would be deceiving her for a different reason than the one he’d initially planned. The breath he’d only just begun to catch was cruelly stolen from his lungs as he became aware of sensations _ besides _ the bone-chilling terror. The even-sharper throbbing of his bladder, for one. Pain that had been numbed for the brief moment he’d been too distracted to pay attention was now back full force, and he bit his lip as he shoved his hand back down, having previously jerked it above his face to shield him from the devil women. That brought his awareness to the second sensation: the cold wetness under his hand. 

_ Dark Lord, please no... _

Shame and panic battled for the right to overtake him, and he swallowed before any sound could leave his throat. He’d allowed fear to wreak havoc upon his body, and now he was paying the price in the form of the palm-sized wet patch between his legs. He supposed he should be thankful it was only a small one, merely a leak, but that knowledge didn’t ease his nerves. In fact, it only sent his body trembling harder, and he squeezed himself against the fresh wave of urgency. 

_ Will it truly go unnoticed once we return to heaven’s light? Even if my clothing shadows it, she may have divine knowledge, or telepathy, or- _

“Of course I am alright! This ‘house of horrors’ is merely a daydream for me!” he spat quickly, knowing he couldn’t delay answering by more than the few seconds that had passed (though they felt _ dreadfully slower _ ). He prayed she didn’t come any closer to where he was standing, that she couldn’t sense the anxiety filling every inch of him. He had never accounted for this! What was he supposed to do? What actions could he _ possibly _ take?

Cham-P huffed heavily from his right shoulder, and he tried to take comfort in the weight and wisdom that sat there. Of course, his companion was correct. While it was wise to be aware of your fears instead of pretending you lacked any, it was ill-advised to cower forever. Hiding in here would do no good, and he had no way to reverse his past actions (currently. Though perhaps soon, if the new tomes he’d started studying were of any count...). 

He had no choice but to summon his courage and face the princess, and the rest of this maze, head-on. If he could at least do that, he could find a way to escape the park and preserve the rest of his dignity before he made any further mistakes.

“I am glad to hear you are unharmed…” the princess breathed, although the relief left her tone within the next sentence. “Please accept my apologies though! I didn’t mean to ruin your daydream!”

“What?” He truly had no idea what she was talking about. Honestly, he had no desire to know. His only desire was to get out of this wretched place!

“I’m afraid that while we were in here, I failed to maintain the proper mentality! Everything carried such a sense of reality that I did not remember that these were merely props, not living creatures! When I heard your high-pitched scream of terror, I believed it was necessary to intervene, but when my fist did not meet flesh, and now that the moment has passed, I… I’m terribly sorry! You were merely_ pretending _ to be scared! That is the point of the game, correct? But I interrupted you and broke the witches, and- I hope I didn’t take away all of your fun!”

If he had room left for any further emotions, he supposed he might have managed to gather up a pinch of sympathy. Perhaps even a hint of gratitude. However, at the moment he hardly spared a glance at her bowing, focusing his full attention on trying to discern where they were supposed to walk next. 

“You needn’t be concerned.” he murmured. “While it is true you fell prey to the deceitful trickery of this hell, and have beaten me and the Devas to delivering our own deadly blows, your merciless display against the enemy was… quite impressive.” Despite the cold air of the room around them, his face felt as if it had been forged in a furnace. “I suppose it is an adequate beginning to the training you will face in the future.”

“Really?” A spark of hope lit up the maiden’s voice, hurried footsteps scurrying after him. “So you aren’t angry with me?”

“Not as of yet. However, I advise you refrain from vandalizing any further equipment. There are locations better suited for training in vanquishing the undead...”

“Like a cemetary?”

“We will discuss it later. For now, let us focus on finishing our current trial…”

“Alright! I believe I saw a turn up ahead that we haven’t explored!”

“Excellent…” _ Thank the Dark Lord. _ Still, he began to slow his pace as they reached the corner, his throat growing dry. “Perhaps… _ you _ should take the lead once more, my apprentice…” he murmured, stepping back slightly. “It is essential that you learn to navigate, and steel yourself in the face of danger!”

“Oh? Alright, I shall do my best!” With a salute in the flickering lights, she disappeared around the corner, and he followed her with measured steps, fighting the urge to flinch with every new enemy. 

~~~

While he was certain his perspective of time was simply warped, he could swear a century had passed by the time they reached the blinding white gate. The princess was swift to step out into the sunlight, but he couldn’t help but cringe, flinching back a step to shield his eyes. Under the guise of waiting for them to adjust, he tried to gather his composure and his courage. Exactly how much would the light of revelation strip from his dignity? He stepped forwards with his gaze directed at the ground, blinking in the brightness. 

“Gundham!”

His heart stopped cold in his chest, jerking his focus towards the princess, but she was not looking at his pants. No, she was skipping towards him to stare him in the eyes, her cheeks tinted pink. “Oh, that was simply amazing, didn’t you think so?!? It was everything I had dreamt it would be! No, even beyond that!” His own face was an inferno, and he had no idea how much of that was the knowledge of how closely she stood, or how easily she could glance down. “Thank you _ so very much _ for coming with me. It elates me that my first time could be experienced with you!~”

What sort of dastardly scheme was this? To trap him in such a manner when he was already a single thread from unraveling completely! The flock of pests within him was flapping furiously, eating away at any sense of composure he had left, and every flip of his stomach was only serving to press harder on the swollen skin of liquid until he felt like he was going to-

“_ Excusemeforamoment! _” He knew he’d choked that out too suddenly, but he didn’t care for tact anymore, jerking himself away from her and walking as quickly as he could without sparing a glance behind him. He only had the capacity to follow one basic impulse, and that was to get away from her strange spells and out of here! 

“Pardon?” Of course she hadn’t caught what he’d said, how could she when he’d nearly blabbered gibberish? “Gundham, where are you going, praytell?”

He was intelligent, he was crafty and quick of tongue. He could think of a believable lie. He _ had to, _ because he would rather be torn apart by demons and feasted on than dare mention the truth!

It was impossible to think of anything when his heartbeat was accosted by spasms and every step left his… _ unmentionable _ rubbing against damp fabric (damp, but _ not _visibly darker he now noticed, thank the Gods). It was the cruelest of taunts, every muscle quivering with the plea to let go, but he persevered. 

“I-I am simply… getting you some more sustenance!” he blurted out.

“Oh, that’s kind of you, but please do not trouble yourself! I am still quite full from our picnic!” The princess caught up to him, stepping in front. “Oh, but you did not eat much, did you? If you were going to get something for yourself as well, I shall be more than happy to accompany you and wait at the table!”

“No no! You do not have to!”

Of course that wouldn’t work! She was not nearly as dim as the rest of the mortals he’d encountered! He wracked his brain where he stood, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot. Hopefully it would only come across as annoyance.

“Very well... Since you are attempting to spoil the surprise, I suppose I will confess. I was planning to conquer the tests of skill and bestow upon you a worthy trinket!”

“You mean the prizes from the games we saw earlier?” When he nodded hastily, her brows furrowed. “Ah, if that is the case, I must tell you that you are going the wrong way. I believe that row was in the reverse direction from where we are travelling now.” _ Curses! _ “And that is exceptionally sweet of you, but I would be remiss if I did not win you something in return! I saw some plush toys that looked remarkably like the Devas, please do me the honour of allowing me to earn one for-”

“That is not necessary! _ For hell’s sake, _ must you cling to my side in the manner of a leech!?!” 

He regretted his words as soon as he’d hissed them, but he scarcely had a choice when he was ready to explode (in both senses of the word). When he worked up the courage to meet her gaze, a lump of ice in the pit of his stomach, he was surprised to find she did not seem angry. No, she was looking at him with something far worse.

_ Worry. _

“You are beginning to concern me, Gundham. I do not wish to be rude by saying so, but you have seemed a hint nervous throughout today, and now it has suddenly escalated. It is rather unlike you!”

“Preposterous! Whatever you have mistaken for nerves, you are wrong-”

“Please do not_ lie _ to me! I would like to believe that I know you rather well by now, and you are _ clearly _ in some sort of distress!” The embers of frustration in her gaze slowly flickered out, replaced by a disarming sadness he utterly resented. “I have shared many of my secrets with you, as well as weaknesses and fears. I would prefer you to repay me the same honesty. If I have made you uncomfortable in any way, you _ must _ tell me so that I may apologize and adjust my behavior accordingly...”

She had managed to corner him until his back was against the wall, both physically and in this dreadful conversation. Why couldn’t she simply release him? Before he said (or did) something else he’d regret!

“Your presence _ now _ is making me uncomfortable...” he choked out. 

“That is a good start, thank you.” she mused, dipping her head. “But why?” When he remained silent, she seemed to take the increasing temperature of his skin as an answer instead. “Oh my, was it about the ‘first time’? Hajime did warn me that such phrases could be misconstrued, but Teruteru told me differently, so I thought- My apologies! To be clear, I did not mean that in _ any sort _of sexual manner!”

No, nonono! Her even _thinking_ that _he_ _thought_ such impure things was even worse! Unbearable! 

“TH-THAT WAS _ NOT _ THE CASE, I _ ASSURE _ YOU!” He’d started to wave his limbs, gesticulating wildly in an attempt to clarify, but the motion immediately tore a yelp from his lips. Between the fear and the movement he’d nearly leaked again, just barely preventing it by bringing his legs back together. 

“If that is not the case, then _ why _ have nerves overtaken you!?! Why do you continue to flush and fidget while in my presen-” 

As the princess’ voice died in her throat, her eyes seemed to widen and sharpen all at once. If he didn’t know better, he would say a bolt of lightning had struck her. 

“Gundham…” She cocked her head, her curious gaze still scrutinizing him. “Do you require the restroom?”


	3. The Trek of Trepidation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, long time no see! I apologize for how long it has taken to get the last chapter of this fic posted, but there is good news! The final chapter ended up being double length, so you get twice the content! (I've split it in half for posting just to give reader's eyes a break) c':
> 
> I've loved working on this over the last several months, and I hope you all enjoy it!

“Gundham…” She cocked her head, her curious gaze still scrutinizing him. “Do you require the restroom?”

He would have flinched back in shock at her inquiry, if moving wouldn’t have been disastrous! How had she seen through his facade so  _ easily? _ Was she a psychic?!? And how could she say such a mortifying thing without any shame at all, as if they were merely speaking of the weather?

His face was being consumed by the fires of hell, and still, he found himself ducking deeper into his veil, letting the thick cloth slip over his mouth to rest just under his nose. He briefly considered protesting, _ insisting _ that she was incorrect in her assumptions, but after the lecture she’d just given him about obscuring the truth, he was positive it wouldn’t work. No, all of his expertly-crafted excuses had crumbled to dust in front of her, and attempting to scrape it back together would only be an insult… 

“Even a near-immortal such as myself has…  _ demands _ that must be met…” He was half-hoping his scarf would muffle the admission enough that she wouldn’t hear him, but of course, hoping for anything was foolish. His bladder stung sharply, as if in punctuation to that thought, and he couldn’t help but wince. Despite himself, he found his knees buckling inwards to press together, much like a quivering newborn foal struggling to stand upright. He certainly  _ felt _ like a newborn, on the verge of losing control of his shuddering, weak muscles.

“I’m afraid this is where I must abandon you and return to my lair!” He spat the sentence out quickly, turning away to search for the park gate. The only thing more sinful than being caught would be to disgrace himself in front of such an esteemed lady. She may be aware of the problem, but he would  _ not _ disrespect her dignity by dragging her into it as a witness. “Farewell, Princess!”

“Gundham, hold on! Please!”

Oh, the _ irony _ of that shout wasn’t lost on him, but he still gasped when fingers snatched at his coat, holding his arm hostage with a grip of iron. It froze him in stasis, entrapped by confusion and her pleading eyes, such a fragile shade of stormy blue. What…  _ was  _ this? No one  _ dared _ to lay a hand upon him. Such insolence! Such utter disregard for his status and power, for his  _ boundaries… _

This fair maiden was not a psychic, he decided, his brows furrowing. No, she was clearly a  _ witch _ , and with a few words and a touch of her dangerous hand she had cast a paralyzing spell unto him.

He decided his throbbing bladder was to blame for his slight trembling.

“I suggest you remove your hand before my very being poisons you… You have roughly five seconds before it will take effect...” It should have been a warning growl, a command, but he found his voice was only capable of a quivering whisper. Had she bewitched his vocal chords as well?

Thankfully, she did relinquish her grip immediately, glancing away to bow. “My deepest apologies, I had forgotten about your curse!” After that minute display of respect though, she arose and continued, her eyes locked onto his own. “But certainly you don’t have to leave the entire park! We were having fun on this outing, weren’t we? Weren't  _ you? _ ”

Fun? There was nothing truly ‘fun’ about life on this mortal plane. It was merely purgatory, an extended rest-stop before he dove into the bowels of Hell- and he really did not need to be thinking about rest-stops  _ or  _ bowels, his swollen abdomen reminded him. He grit his teeth beneath his fabric mask, crossing one leg over the other as casually as he could and resisting the urge to bounce. He couldn’t allow this interrogation to go on for much longer.

“It was an adequate waste of time.” he muttered, dipping his head. “However, the window of opportunity has closed, so I must-”

“Surely there’s a restroom here though, isn’t there?” she interjected. He supposed she wasn’t exactly begging, no matter how it sounded to himself. To be fair, she was only questioning his decisions and sudden departure the way any normal mortal would. “I’m positive I saw some when we were heading towards the rides earlier.” A delicately-manicured finger pressed against the tip of her chin as she searched her memories. “Yes, there certainly were!” A spark of determination seemed to fill the fair lady, and she formed a fist for her newly trademarked pose of strength. Normally, he found it amusing, but it was merely unnecessary now. “Come along, and I’ll lead you there!”

“ _ Absolutely not. _ ” Even with the urgency nagging at him and the pain coursing through his body, his lips had no qualms about curling back in repulsion. If there were any hair left on the back of his neck, it would be standing upright, but as it was his hairstyle alone seemed to bristle. 

“What? Why?” Her powerful stance faltered, those arms instead crossing over her chest, fingers drumming thoughtfully. “Pardon me for saying so, but you look like you’re on the verge of wetting yourself like a child. So shouldn’t we make haste and hurry there?”

If she hadn’t been so insistent on keeping him trapped here, he could have already started running back to his lair by now, he thought resentfully. Still, patience was an important skill to have, and one that he had been honing for years with both of his lifes’ ambitions. Taking a slight breath, he resolved to explain the situation as simply as he could. The sooner the princess understood, the sooner she may have mercy upon his soul and cease her (well-intentioned, he supposed) meddling in his affairs.

“I cannot set foot in such a wretched place.” Even with his effort to remain calm, he couldn’t help the slight hiss to his words as his abdomen spasmed again, this time so harshly he almost doubled over. Uncrossing his legs, he settled for shifting his weight from foot to foot, his hands reaching to toy with the ends of his scarf. 

“Why not?” At least she didn’t sound judgemental. Merely confused, as any simple sheep would be. “Oh, actually, I believe I’ve heard of phobias for that sort of thing before.... Are you scared, Gundham?”

_ “Scared!?!  _ Have you forgotten to whom you’re speaking?!?” As tempting as it was to lash out and defend his honor though, he tried to swallow it before he spat any harsher words. It would be unfair to blame the blind for not seeing what dangers lurked… Shaking his head, he refocused himself, straightening up as best he could in his… compromised condition. He was an authority on these things, so he must present himself as such. “I have never been  _ fearful. _ However, it does appear that I am  _ the only being _ who sees the tremendous dangers residing in such…  _ unsavoury _ places. Humankind may be foolish enough to take the risk, but _ I _ know better.”

The princess’ eyes widened, a hand clasping over her lips to muffle the gasp. “Dangers? What kind of dangers?”

“More than you could hope to count. Those areas are portals brimming with horrific energies, or buildings marked by curses. They are filled with demonic beings the likes of which even _ I, _ powerful though I am, would not dare to trifle with…” Just the thought sent a shiver up his spine, and his poor Dark Devas chittered to themselves, scurrying to hide against his neck. “Those demons take many forms, but they are equally malevolent. Some exist to spread miasma of disease. Others take pleasure in assaulting your senses with noise, or keeping their ever-watchful eyes upon you, staring into your very soul. And still, the most cruel of all ensnare you in a trap and enact spells upon your body…”

“Oh my, that all sounds horrible!” The maiden cried, looking at him with utter horror. Her face was pale, a hint of sweat upon her brow. 

He hoped these secrets about her world wouldn’t overwhelm her. It wasn’t easy to face reality. Many humans chose to stay complacent with ignorance and outright disbelief, fooling themselves into believing they were far safer, more immune than they truly were. However, if any human had a chance of understanding the supernatural forces, he was positive it would be her. 

“But…” He was pulled from his musings as she continued speaking, and he noticed the fear on her features had disappeared. Instead, she seemed to be in deep concentration. “I don’t believe I’ve experienced any of those things before…” the princess admitted, brows furrowing together as she stared at him. “How come the demons haven’t tried to harm me? My status has entailed much danger and made many enemies, but amongst them I have never been attacked by such forces as you described!”

That was a good question, although he was swiftly losing the patience to waste time pondering it. While she did show promise in the fields of ghost hunting or participating in occult rituals, this was an entirely different matter. And, after all, she was still an ordinary creature. Royalty, yes, but only amongst the lowest ranking animals. 

“Perhaps they simply don’t care about you meager humans.” he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Such a target would be easy to overwhelm, but there would be no satisfaction to be found in that. However, they know I’m aware of their games, and they know that I pose a  _ significant threat. _ So they’ve taken it as a challenge to harass me ever since I first became aware of my lineage and abilities.”

“Really? When was that?”

“As far as my memory serves, since the day I came into existence, reborn in my human guise on this mortal plane…” He couldn’t remember a time in his fledgling years that these demons  _ hadn’t _ plagued and toyed with him. It was an endless, frustrating, and most inconvenient torture…

He supposed he must have looked even more tormented than usual, because she winced, staring at him with much more pity than warranted. “I am most sorry, Gundham! You must live a terribly difficult life, to be carrying such burdens…” Soon enough though, a look of perplexion flashed across her face. “But… If you cannot safely enter restrooms, where do you-” 

“There are _a select few_ I may enter!” he interjected, hating the way his voice almost spluttered. He shouldn’t even be having a conversation about such private matters with a fine lady like this, let alone be interrogated over it! And discussing the subject was only making his urge to void worse, a rhythmic pulsing that was quickly decreasing its pauses between intervals. It was certainly an effective way to remind him how his time was being wasted here. If only he had brought his invisibility cloak today, none of this would be happening…

Swallowing the impulse to whine, he couldn’t bring himself to keep looking at her, glancing off towards the side. “I have managed to secure a few ‘Safe Zones’ where the demonic entities daren’t tread. I cannot divulge the other locations, but as for this island, my lair here suffices. I have cleansed its aura thoroughly, and have etched some exceptionally strong runes and sigils into the doorways and curtains. Those have managed to keep any foul intentions at bay.”

“Ah, then perhaps I could draw one of those symbols onto the restroom here! That way you won’t have to journey so far! Do you have any chalk in your possession?” Shaking his head, he was about to speak when the princess gasped and interrupted. “Oh, maybe Miss Usami has something? I believe her home resides on this island as well! Wait here, I’ll go and check!” With a swish of her platinum locks, she started to dart away, and he allowed a weak human curse to slip from his tongue. He rushed to pull his scarf down so that his voice was clearer, calling out to her before she was out of range. 

_ “Cease at once, you foolish woman!” _

Whether she stopped in her tracks because of his word choice, or the frantic edge to his tone, he wasn’t certain. But at least he’d stopped her from running a pointless errand. Swallowing against his pounding heartbeat (how pathetic, to have  _ fear _ pushing the blood through his veins instead of courage), he spoke up again.

“It  _ won’t  _ work! You have no power here, you’re nothing more than a mortal!  _ Stop _ trying to meddle in matters you haven’t  _ the slightest hope _ of understanding!” He did feel regret, seeing the confusion and hurt upon her face, but if he delayed any longer he would be at serious risk. Whatever hit his reputation with her took from being hateful or cold was  _ far _ preferable to destroying his image for eternity. He was used to being disliked and despised, reveled in it even… but he wasn’t used to undeserved kindness, or Dark Lord forbid,  _ coddling. _

No. He couldn’t allow this wonderful, talented woman to see him in such a miserable state. It had been a mistake to try and come here to begin with, and this was his karma for daring to think he could manage it. She didn’t belong with the pink-haired fool, but he certainly wasn’t worthy of her company either…

“As I said before, our time together is  _ over. _ I am taking my leave!” Leaving no room for argument, his coat and scarf whipped with his movements as he turned away and strode towards the gates as quickly as he could manage. Every step of his boots on the cobblestone seemed to send another jolt into his bladder, and a suffocating cloud of dread settled over his chest. It would be a long and arduous journey, but that was what a devil like himself deserved, he supposed. He should never have tried to partake in casual human affairs. Had he not had that lesson taught to him countless times already? And yet he never learned…

“Gundham!”

He didn’t dare turn around, but the sound of heels clacking against the pavement grew louder, and soon she was within his peripheral vision. “If you continue to harass me, I shall be tempted to sick Maga-Z upon you…”

“Please do not!” It seemed more of a command than a plea, although for some reason he found himself obeying anyways. How pathetic a state he was in, that he couldn't even bring himself to argue. While he remained silent, keeping his gaze firmly ahead, she continued. “Listen, I am terribly sorry if I’ve offended you! I did not mean to be disrespectful, I only wished to help you! However, I now see that my actions were presumptuous and counterintuitive… ” 

He wished he could quicken his pace, but unfortunately, his steps needed to be smaller and carefully calculated. She kept stride with him easily, despite her shorter stature. How was he always finding himself held hostage by her hand?

“Gundham, I understand this is not an ideal situation, and I understand that I have likely made things worse. I… I truly do wish to apologize, and I pray that you may find mercy within your dark heart to forgive me…”

An exasperated sigh fell from his lips as they turned onto another street. “You have done nothing worthy of forgiveness.”

“But I-” He cut off her misunderstanding protest before it could even begin, his tongue sharp with loathing.

“The only creature here begging for forgiveness is my own cowardly spirit, and I can assure you that I  _ will not _ be paying it such courtesy. It deserves to sit there and fester...” None of the challenges he’d experienced today were the princess’ doing, after all. If he wasn’t such an  _ underleveled wretch,  _ a lowly worm compared to her quick-witted and savage cobra, perhaps he would have stood a chance. 

“Ah, that is… rather harsh, is it not? I would really prefer if you didn’t speak of yourself in such a manner...”

“Were you not the one who requested that I speak the truth?”

“Well, yes, I suppose I did, but-”

“Then the truth is that, were it not to put the Devas out of a caretaker, I would  _ gladly _ take a dagger and commit a blood sacrifice against my worst enemy...”

“Which is yourself… I mean, your ‘cowardly spirit’. Correct?”

“Precisely." he huffed, waving her away. "As it stands, you have nothing to beg my forgiveness for today. Remove my disheveled form from your sightline, maiden, and return to the castle. Given your performance in the nest of horrors, I am willing to wager that the traps within will be no match for you.” If she was absolved of her guilt,  _ surely _ she would finally leave him alone. He would draw another line in the proverbial sand, and she could enjoy this island without his miserable condition slowing her down.

"While I am sure that I would be quite at home in the castle, I have no desire to go there. Not without a divine spellcaster beside me." The princess was as stubborn as she was talented, and he grit his teeth. "You may choose to shoulder the blame if you wish, I don't believe I will convince you otherwise... but my heart would be remiss if I abandoned you in the midst of a crisis!"

"Crisis is an exaggeration…" he muttered, although to be truthful, it felt more accurate by the moment. They were nearing the park gates by now, but it felt like they'd barely made any progress compared to the long trail ahead. Every footfall shook the sack of liquid within, and he could feel his flesh beginning to perspire. If only he could teleport- no, he couldn't afford to fantasize. All of his focus must be concentrated on the mission at hand! "I do not require-"

"Please, allow me to escort you!" The princess pleaded, temporarily quickening her pace to walk backwards in front of him, so that he would have no choice but to stare into those glimmering eyes. Such a devious trick. "You look to be in a great deal of pain, and I am concerned your powers will be compromised. If any ill-intentioned spirits are about, or our classmates, they will need to be discouraged from approaching, yes? I shall be your protective forcefield!"

_ Damn you and your gaze of disarming hypnotism… _

To be truthful, the very concept of being followed in this state, let alone by a lady such as the princess herself, gave him the distinct feeling that his soul had  _ withered and died _ inside of him. And yet, he was forced to admit that it was a valid strategy. He certainly wasn't in any position to hide himself should any witnesses appear, and seeing as his dignity had already been flayed and dragged through the mud, there was no reason left to argue.

Or, more honestly, there was no  _ time _ left to argue. Groaning deep in his throat, he nodded his ascent. "If you  _ must _ , then fine! But keep pace! Do not fail me..." 

"I will not let you down!" The princess promised, posing dramatically. "Our journey will be swifter than a pegasi's wings!"

~~~

This journey was more akin to a mighty tortoise's trudge through the tar pits of hell, he thought, trying to suppress the urge to pant with every step. This status effect was sapping his strength faster than any poison barbs could have, reducing his tall and impressive posture to a hunched, shivering imp, his long strides cut into a toddler's stagger… He knew he looked beyond ridiculous, and the measures necessary to prevent disaster would only grow more extreme as time went on. Even his awe-inspiring fashion couldn't spare his image…

The maiden had yet to say anything beyond chipper encouragements or attempts at distracting him with questions about their future training, but he could feel her sympathetic gaze boring into his back, and it burned the tips of his ears. His entire face felt as if it had been singed by her laser-vision.

_ You truly are sadistic gods… But I must be punished for my hubris... _

This was the price he deserved to pay for encroaching upon business that wasn’t his own. He’d tried to reach a treasure unattainable, and now he would get to enjoy watching it slip from his grasp with every minute they spent on their journey.

So lost had he grown in his internal pity, that he was scarcely aware of the changing scenery until the ground began to sway beneath his boots. " _ GYAH! _ So my cause of doom shall be an earthquake!" he gasped out, his tone far shakier than usual as he fought to keep his footing. His swollen bladder sloshed every lurch of his body, and he grimaced as another brief trickle escaped to wet his thigh.

"Gundham! The railing, it is behind you!" the maiden called, and as she made her way towards him, he realized what the cause truly was. So they had crossed from the fourth island's territory and onto the perilous bridge… over the ocean…

"Do not look over!" She had warned him a tad too late, but he was swift to look away from the churning froth, gritting his teeth to trap a whine and directing his attention towards her determined smile. Her grip on the wood was firm, and even if her legs trembled slightly, she did not waver. "A trial like this is mere child's play to worthy adventurers such as ourselves, yes? We shall cross this path and enter the majestic woodlands beyond, no matter what demons lurk beneath our feet! Simply look forward, and steel yourself! Move one footfall at a time, and do not look back!"

Yes… The princess may be rather new to this, but she had a solid strategy. As loathe as his body was to keep moving, his soul would not let him stay here when she was so determined to pass this test!

_ One footfall at a time. Look nowhere but forward. _

He could do this. He was Gundham Tanaka! Ruler of Ice! Tamer of Mighty Beasts! Demon King of Hell!

_ Clinger to the Railing. _

It was an arduous process. For every step he took, the wooden planks beneath lurched and creaked, loosely tied together and clearly not used to the frequency with which they'd been traversed lately. A classful of rowdy humans had certainly worn down the equipment on this island. Their lagomorphic teacher should be instructing them to repair it, not preparing pointless model ships and robots...

He had to distribute his weight carefully as he moved, as well as ensure his companions remained on his shoulders. The last thing they needed to risk was one of the Devas plummeting to a watery grave.  _ Do not think about water… _

He was so focused, so full of nerves and shudders and urgent stimuli, that he didn't notice the railing his bandaged hand was clinging to had disappeared from his grasp until the maiden cheered from behind him.

"Excellent! You have survived the worst portion of the journey! Now we simply have a stroll through the park, and then we will be back at the beach! Isn't that wonderful, Gundham?"

Nothing was wonderful. 

Everything was hell.

Specifically, the agony shooting through his body the likes of which he'd never experienced, even when he'd been in fights with beasts or endured his mother's unholy cooking. He couldn't bring himself to respond to anything the princess was saying, dropping down into a crouch with a gasp he couldn't contain.

"Gundham? Goodness!"

_ What a pitiful, revolting display…  _

He was kneeling on one knee and hunched over, but that wasn't enough to ease the stinging throbs in his abdomen. He was forced to give in and shove a hand between his legs to clench, and he would have been hot with shame if he wasn't already blazing from the strain. His hair had started to wilt from sweat, and even the nuzzles of encouragement from his Devas couldn't stop the pathetic whimpers escaping his lips. He couldn't catch his breath, even though every inhale only threatened the wall of liquid he was just barely holding back. It wasn't even sloshing anymore. There wasn't room, and his belt cut into the solid bump with the slightest movements.

He was nearly incapacitated, and the pain was excruciating, but he could handle that. 

What he couldn't handle was the liquid beginning to water behind his clenched eyelids.

In that moment, he  _ loathed _ himself. He loathed himself more than humans loathed him, and that was an accomplishment.

"Gundham?" The princess' voice reached his ears, spoken much more softly this time. He sensed her aura as she crouched down in front of him, but he refused to look at her, speaking towards the ground.

"Do not concern yourself with me! I am merely… regaining spiritual balance…" he muttered. "I shall be fit to resume our journey-  _ ngh!- _ any moment!"

"Yes, I… have no doubt that is the case." she murmured, sounding considerably full of doubt. He resisted the urge to glare at her. If there was one thing he disliked, it was liars. Especially those lying out of  _ pity _ … "But, um, if you do not mind me saying so, I have been thinking, and… I may have a proposition."

"Oh?" Rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve, he finally glanced up, skeptical. "Do tell,  _ oh wise one… _ " She didn't flinch at his biting tone, and that only made him feel more pathetic. He'd lost all semblance of threat…

"I know the demons are typically a problem, but… we are out here in the park now, yes? I have been keeping careful watch, and there are no presences here besides us and the Devas. And this area is protected by your favourite majestic statue, correct?"

"Yes, I know that deity well… A fine piece of artwork, as ferocious as it is beautiful…" 

"So then, um, do you think it would be possible…?" The maiden's face was flushing pink, and he felt fresh moths hatch in his chest. "If it is capable of warding off ill-intentioned spirits… perhaps you could, um, hide behind a tree and… and I will stay over on the other side of the statue, with the Devas!"

"That is a  _ preposterous _ idea, and I resent the very nature of your lips for-" 

"Silence your protests at once!" 

He did not know whether it was the sharp, royal command in her tone, her immediate shift into a standing pose, or the jolt in his bladder that shut his jaws, but he found himself stunned into silence. Flames licked at his cheeks, and he ducked down into his scarf, his gaze flitting back towards the ground. 

Once he had given her the floor, she exhaled, speaking more calmly. "My deepest apologies, I did not wish to 'pull rank' upon you. But I feel that as much as you will loathe it, it is at least worth  _ attempting _ , yes? I do not enjoy seeing you in such obvious torment, and if there is a chance, any chance at all, that we can alleviate it… Could you  _ please _ try, Gundham? For me, and for your own sake?"

So she thought him a helpless whelp, incapable of enduring the rest of the quest. It was not a shocking revelation, but lack of surprise did not make it less unpleasant. Bile threatened to rise in his throat, humiliation bubbling within his stomach. 

Stronger than those unwelcome emotions though, was the ever insistent panging below. Soreness had enveloped every inch of him from the waist down, and his legs were quivering so strongly he could scarcely keep his position. His teeth were aching from clenching so tightly, the only way he could resist drawing blood from his own lips.

This sensation… it was absolutely, utterly  _ unbearable _ , even to a demon king such as himself! It had taken over every thought as easily as a brainwashing spell, leaving him with only one objective. 

It was a pointless human suggestion. A waste of what precious grains of sand remained in the hourglass. A fool's errand, and nothing more. 

"You…" He bit back a groan, peeking up at her. "You will continue to be vigilant against potential ambushes, yes?"

"I will keep my eyes and ears alert, yes! Spare you, of course! I will remain silent, or if you would prefer me to sing so I do not hear, I can-"

"Silence would be preferred…" he choked out, forcing himself to stand. It was difficult, every ounce in his body screaming when gravity took effect, but he managed to stagger upright and pass the Devas to her. They chittered their encouragement as she hurried away towards the statue in the middle of the park. 

As soon as she was hidden behind it, he rushed to claw his way through the undergrowth off the path, passing flower bushes and decorative oaks and moving deeper into the shadows. Their teacher kept the park grounds immaculate of litter and the scenery well-trimmed, but it was too clean, in his opinion. Sun beams shone through unnaturally even gaps, the trunks were spaced with plenty of clearings for blankets to be lain down in both light and shade, and the bushes were free of tangles. There were no hidden areas of gnarled branches and twisting trunks, no overhanging curtains of vines…

_ No wonder familiars don't deign to flourish here… there's nowhere to form a proper den, nowhere to camoflauge… _

As another sharp cramp threatened to double him over, he was forced to settle for a large trunk that at least shielded him from the statue's general direction. He cursed under his breath as he fumbled with his belt and, for once, regretted his numerous flowing layers of clothing. They kept swishing in the way, and given the awkward position he was in, bouncing on his toes and gluing his knees together, it took a considerable bit of time to get ready. 

_ Oh Gods… _

No dam the most honorable beaver had built could hope to contain the flood he was on the verge of unleashing. The leaks that had dampened his pants over the course of their trek were miniscule compared to the ocean inside him.

_ I know it is in poor form to beg from you twice upon the same day, but if you have any mercy at all, Unholy Spirits, please grant me this! I have received your message and will… disentangle myself from the maiden… Just let my sentence be served! _

But it seemed the devils were intent on forcing him to endure the whole of his punishment. No matter how he tried to relax, no matter how he closed his eyes and blocked out his current scenery, no matter how his body trembled with urgency… the liquid inside him that had been so intent on escaping earlier refused to spill. 

_ So even out here, you wicked ones curse me… _

Despite the bitterness of his thoughts, he could not summon any anger. Nor could he think of any spells to cast or incantations to chant. The only sound that fell from his lips was a pained moan as he redressed himself and leaned his head and back against the bark of the tree, his body weight collapsing against it. It wasn't enough, it wasn't a respite. There was no respite from this  _ goddamned torture _ he was trapped in, and no matter how he grabbed at himself and bounced around, crossed his legs and groaned, curled and contorted into every position possible,  _ nothing _ was taking the throbbing pulses away. 

He had no choice besides making the miserable trek back to his lair, and he'd been foolish to have hope of otherwise for even a minute. 

Every minute was precious, and he'd been a fiend to waste them. 

He didn't dare look at the princess as he stumbled from the woods and stormed past the statue, only pausing his stride for his Devas to safely scramble up onto his shoulders. 

"Oh my… I take it that you did not-"

"Speak another word, and I will transmogrify your traitorous tongue to lead!" he hissed, although he was positive it didn't hold the intimidation such a threat should. His voice was too ragged and prone to slipping into a higher pitch, and his breath hitched. He was a wreck, an utter disgrace. He had absolutely no chance left to preserve his modesty, keeping one hand entrapped between his shivering legs, whilst the other was occupied grabbing at any surface it could to hold him upright as he walked. Or rather, keep him from hunching over completely as he tip-toed, because as soon as he'd started moving again, his frozen bladder had decided it was time to thaw. There was no point trying to stop the occasional trickles anymore, and he knew they would only cease if he dared attempt…  _ the tree _ again. He was cursed. Utterly, irrevocably  _ cursed _ . His only goal was to protect whatever pitiful thread of dignity he had remaining by making it to a proper receptacle before he lost everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (and sticking through my slow schedule, haha)! Please feel free to leave a comment (anon is fine too) or a kudos, I love hearing from you all! ❤
> 
> I love these two so much, this was an absolute blast to write!


	4. Heavy of Lung, Yet Light of Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, long time no see! I apologize for how long it has taken to get the last chapter of this fic posted, but there is good news! The final chapter ended up being double length, so you get twice the content! (I've split it in half for posting just to give reader's eyes a break) c':
> 
> Welcome to the finale! ❤ I'm so happy to have this finished, and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it!

The princess, as well as his Devas, had continued to murmur encouragements to him all the way through the park and across a second treacherous bridge, however, they might as well have fallen on deaf ears. He could no longer bring his awareness to focus on anything outside of his own intense battle, an inner war making him lose his balance more often than the swaying planks and shifting sands as they reached shore. His impeccable gate had been reduced to a hobble, and the worst part was that he couldn't find it within himself to feel shame. All his selfish heart cared about at this point was reaching the cabins. The distended flesh below his navel ached with such pain that his stomach felt ill, and his sweat-drenched form shifted between heat and cold in waves. He couldn't recall ever feeling so helpless, so wounded, and a portion of his puny soul was tempting him to simply collapse. To fall upon the ground and wait for nature to take its toll, to ease the pain when he himself couldn't. 

_ No. I would never forgive myself for such cowardice. Especially not in front of the maiden… I must fight against the enemy, fight for my life and my own body, until the very end! If I am to collapse into a grave, it will only be after I have finished digging it with scrabbling hands! _

And so he trudged on, and despite the agony in every ragged breath, he couldn't help a soft cackle of relief as they made their way onto the coastline of the beach. 

"Ah, you see Gundham! This is near where we all woke up on that fateful day! We are nearly at the end of our quest!" The princess clapped her hands, skipping ahead, but pausing every so often to wait for him. "Maintain your courage! I believe in you!" And so did the Devas, chittering with renewed vigor as they nuzzled his neck and patted his shoulders. Even Jum-P was wide awake, keeping careful watch of his every step. 

" _ Gyahaha! _ Yes, how foolish of these island gods to think their traps could stop the mighty Gundham Tanaka…" he huffed, feeling a renewed spark of warmth awaken in his chest. Was this the 'hope' that the albino was always speaking of? No, it had to be the demonic fire of the devil himself, a being of pure chaos and power! A creature so determined in the face of adversity that no trial, no trickster or spirit's ploys, could manage to defeat him! "No decaying bridge can shake the Demon Lord's composure…" he murmured darkly, his boots stomping into the sand with every heavy step. His cloak and scarf flowed threateningly behind him, and the stinging wind in his face was surely the cause of the slight moisture in his eyes. "No dark forest or house of horrors can rattle the devil's bones!" 

No, nor could the sound of crashing waves send shudders through every limb, up every vertebrae in one's spine…

Or a sudden numbing sensation across the most steadily throbbing portion of his abdomen…

_ What strange affliction is bewitching me now? _

He barely had a moment to ponder the thought before a leak larger than the rest soaked the hand still buried between his legs, and he bit back a yelp with gritted teeth.

_ No… This cannot be… _

He tried to keep moving forwards, but that only brought another stream of warm liquid, soaking the crotch of his pants and running down his left thigh. The numbness and the sharp burning of his…  _ unmentionable _ were a horrible juxtaposition, and he wracked his skull for a course of action to take. If speed was of the essence, should he simply bolt? Or was it wiser to stand still and regain his control, and then proceed calmly and firmly?

_ This cannot be the end! I am tauntingly close to a fortress of solitude. Just a few more minutes,  _ ** _please…_ **

"Gundham? Are you alright? You've stopped…" 

He couldn't find the energy to respond, using all of his mental and physical ability to try and contain himself. If he could find the right position and ritual, the right incantation to run through his mind-

_ No. Nononono… _

_ Please, I beg of you!  _

No matter how he tensed, his wretched mortal frame was simply exhausted. Limp muscles were no match for the oncoming flood, and he could only stand in horror as warm urine began to spill out of him. Still mere leaks at first, slowly escaping the locked forcefield that had held them hostage for so long, but soon enough they became a torrent. Heat and wetness ravaged every scrap of fabric they could reach, drenching pants, tucked-in shirt, and cloak sleeve alike until they clung to him. A wretched, sodden pelt, reeking of humiliation. The horrid river spilled down his quivering legs to fill his boots, splattered to turn the sand beneath him into a puddle of mud… and he could only stare. Stare down at the travesty, still in utter disbelief that such a terrible event was occuring. But it was, there was all the proof right in front of him, on him, that it was. The Ultimate Beast Tamer, Ruler of Hell, was urinating on himself like an untrained human whelp… directly in front of the one human worthy of his respect. 

Not that his respect would be worth a scrap of copper after this display…

The bodily relief of such an action after so many hours of testing his limits threatened to overwhelm him, but he did not allow himself to sink any lower. His physical form may be sending dizzying waves of pleasure, spasms of strained muscles finally loosening, but he did not allow himself to sigh or moan, to otherwise relax into the sensations. He did not  _ deserve _ any comfort or satisfaction, not for something so sickening. He remained in position, with his face aflame, listening to the unholy sound of his own urine hissing into his clothes, until it finally,  _ slowly _ , ceased.

_ I would request that you pull me down and feed me to the hellhounds, but you would never dare to be so kind as to indulge my prayers... _

Such as the Devil was humiliated and had his wings cut before he plummeted to the ground, so was he stripped of his dignity, put on a shameful display in front of the angel before him on this miserable earth…

_ A pathetic, wretched creature. A man who'd sought greater treasures than he was worthy of possessing, left to wallow in the ashes of his hubris… Certainly, this is to be my fate. This is the will of causality... _

He couldn't even bring himself to wallow. To apologize for his sins, to grovel for forgiveness, to  _ at least _ turn away to hide his shame… The Ruler of Ice was frozen solid, trapped within the strongest stasis spell he'd ever encountered. He tried to speak, and found his vocal chords strangled, his mouth left agape with only a few squeaks to escape his throat. Squeaks softer than any his Devas could muster. It was pitiful! As pitiful as the way his entire body was trembling where he stood, shivering so badly that even the warmth coating his legs couldn't thaw them. He had no idea if his skin was flushed or pale, if his blood was flowing or completely still.

He wondered, nay, he  _ prayed _ that perhaps his wretched body was not the only thing frozen. That perhaps, fate had been kind enough to pause the world, cast a spell over all of it. But that was not the case. Of course it wasn't. Fate was not a being of pity or kindness. Though he could not bring himself to direct his gaze from the sand, he was vaguely aware of Sonia's aura moving around him. She was murmuring garbled words into his ear, something about… She was taking the Devas from his shoulders, apparently, and though he loathed the sudden cold and emptiness, he did not disagree with her actions. His beloved familiars should never have to see their master like this. How utterly revolting it must have been, riding atop a creature covered in its own mess…

At least they would forgive him though. That was one of many things animals had  _ a far greater  _ capacity for than humankind. They may not forget, but they usually were more than willing to forgive inadequacy and embarrassing mistakes. They did not torment or tease, they did not dredge up the past. For such wise creatures, only the present and future mattered. 

There was also the matter of him witnessing many instances whilst training them for their litter boxes, of course. This event had merely balanced the scales.

The same could not be said for those devious classmates, however. Panic squeezed his chest further, tightening with each frantic pulse of his heart. Though he was… accustomed to receiving jeers and taunting, and had heard more than his fair tithe of laughter at his expense, he had yet to devise an iron defense potion or spell against it. No known rune in his vast catalogue was capable of negating the demoralizing effects…

There was no cover from here to his lair. This vast expanse of sand and traitorous revealing sun, and with the hotel and other dwellings bustling in the afternoons...

For all those mere pathetic mortals to see their Demon Lord in such a compromising position… this island would become an inescapable prison. A torture chamber worse than whatever that strange demon their teacher had vanquished had threatened to create…

_ The fanged one will never allow me a moment's respite once he catches wind of this… The others will gladly follow his lead… I will have a pack of monsters ready to tear my flesh and soul apart at every turn... _

_ I will have to forage from the trees for sustenance, and purify my own water. I shall be forced to build a new lair on a different island, with stronger barriers, and if the rabbit spellcaster attempts to recruit me back into her cult of 'friendship', I must vanish with a smoke bomb!  _

_ I am no stranger to a life of solitude… I was foolish to believe I was suited to try anything else… _

A shrill shriek suddenly rang through the air, piercing his chest like an arrow of steel. " _ Princess!?! _ " he called, whipping around as he scanned the beach for the source of her distress, all plans for his upcoming escape vanishing from his thoughts. He'd never heard a sound like that come from her. It was a completely different breed of scream from the 'rollercoaster'. But she was nowhere to be found- no, there! Following the urgent pointing of his Deva's paws, he spotted her bejeweled bow sink below the surface of the water. How had she gotten that far?!? 

His comrades scampered along the beach, directing him towards her most recent footprints. 

The cliffside of the shore! She'd been standing there whilst talking to them, when she'd lost her balance... while it was not terribly high, if she'd plummeted the wrong way, her skull may have been kissed by the rocks below the water's surface...

_ You foolish maiden! Of all the wretched ways to risk your life! _

He did not enjoy swimming for leisure, but it was a necessary skill, and he was certainly grateful he possessed it now. Leaving his Devas to wait on dry land, he ran forward and plunged at top speed, leaping into the salty spray and past the rocks. Even with his waterlogged cloth adding weight and swirling around him, he made excellent time, battling against the raging seas and diving beneath to grasp the princess where she had begun to drift. She hadn't fallen too deeply, thankfully, but he was swift to pull them both up so their heads broke the surface. Before he could begin to drag her back to shore and expel the water from her lungs however, she shocked him by opening her eyes, grinning at him.

"Gundham! My Dark Lord, it appears you've saved my life! You have my eternal gratitude for your heroic actions!" 

It was admittedly difficult to tell with his sodden hair coating his face in clumps, but he could swear the princess did not look distressed in the slightest. She wasn't even coughing, and when he immediately relinquished his poisonous grip on her, she remained floating by paddling in place herself. 

"You… were not drowning..." he murmured slowly, squinting at her as he began to process the event. His pounding heart began pumping righteous fury through his blood instead of panic, and his squint became a glare. "YOU INSOLENT, DEVIOUS MORTAL  _ WENCH _ !!! To feign your own  _ death- _ and for  _ what _ , pitious amusement!?! Of all the  _ deceitful _ , hideous acts- even a devil such as  _ I _ would never- I ought to drown you with Poseidon's wrath and skewer your body with his trident! If you hold  _ any remorse _ in that blackened heart, you had best speak swiftly, before I-"

"Gundham?"

"Yes, you  _ fiend _ ? Are you prepared to flay yourself for the mistake of lying to your tutor?"

"I am aware I owe you many apologies for frighten- I mean,  _ deceiving _ you, and I swear on my intact life that I will make good on those." the maiden nodded, taking a moment to brush the mop of saturated gold from her eyes. "But first, would you be so kind as to take notice of your clothing?"

"My clothing?" What sort of distraction was this? Merely delaying her punishment… Rolling his eyes, he gestured towards his sodden outfit, growing heavier by the moment. "Yes, thanks to your foolish exploits, my prized scarf and cloak are going to be out of commission for several hours whilst they reabsorb the element of fire." Well, they would in the 'dryer,' but he had to admit, it was a useful human invention to accomplish what used to require sunlight magic alone. "I hope you are pleased with yourself, because it will be the final smile to grace your pitiful face!"

"Oh, I am  _ quite _ pleased, actually!" The girl had the audacity to  _ giggle _ at him, and he would have swam away then, if she hadn't leaned closer, a more delicate smile on her lips. "Our devilish plot has worked perfectly, you see? Thank you for playing your part so perfectly!"

"Of  _ what _ wretched plot doest thou speak?"

"The one where we convince all of our poor,  _ unenlightened _ classmates that the Ultimate Princess nearly drowned in the ocean! Oh, what a tragic tale, a horrendous fate!" she sighed, feigning sorrow as she threw an arm over her head. "Or, perhaps it would have been, if the mighty Beast Tamer hadn't bravely entered the stormy seas and rescued his dark apprentice! Getting his signature outfit unfortunately soaked in the process- but what a small price to pay for a display of the Demon King's power, yes? Perhaps Teruteru will provide a vegetarian feast in your honor!"

He could think of nothing to do but to stare upon her face, taking in a smirk that was far too proud, and a glimmering gaze that was far too kind...

_ Thou are a creature of more wile and holding more beauty than the finest fox… The Nefarious Miss Nevermind...  _

To shield him instead of mocking, even after all of his pathetic, awkward, inhuman displays today… To come up with such a brilliant plot that even  _ he _ had been ensnared in her web of lies… 

"I see… And what price doest thou require for such assistance?" he murmured hesitantly, a snake of dread coiling in his chest. "I am certain compensation of gold or jewels will be worthless to royalty. So shall it be blackmail? Vials of my blood? Indentured servitude? Name your desires, and I shall make good upon the contract."

"Gundham, this was not a transaction..." the princess sighed, and he certainly didn't like the strange hint of sadness in her eyes. "I do not, nor will I  _ ever _ , desire repayment for the mere act of helping you. We are… somewhat close, are we not? I had hoped that meant we were beyond such business-like boundaries…"

_ Such a strange line of thinking… _

Humans were selfish creatures. Even those of supposedly good intent, like the brown-haired boy who had fainted, were selfish at heart. They did no favours unless they were plotting to receive something in return. A present for a shard. 'Friendship' for protection. 'Love' for a home and financial security. Saving nature so they could continue to exploit it… The list was endless.

Demons were no different. Contracts and oaths, giving blood and bone or casting spells… benefits, no matter how small, always came with a price. 

It was the nature of survival, and he understood such law perfectly. It was simply the way of the world.

For her to say she was not seeking anything… it was inconceivable! There had to be some sort of trick, a catch, a hidden motive… And yet, staring at her expression, he could find nothing. Nothing but that bizarre earnest aura that always surrounded her. 

_ You are making this far more difficult than it has any right to be… _

If she would make a clear demand, he could rebalance the scales easily and be on his way. But instead this debt would remain hanging over him… This  _ undeserved kindness. _

"Boundaries are not always meant to be broken down." he reminded her grimly. This maiden clearly needed a reminder, before she smudged the lines between them any further. "Sigils and salt lines were created for a purpose. To trespass into a monster's territory unprepared can spell disaster…"

The princess remained unfazed. In fact, she held her head up proudly. "Perhaps, but sometimes that risk must be taken! If one does not venture outside of their comfort-zone, they will never learn anything of what lurks beyond. They will never learn about the oh-so-mysterious monster. Perhaps even learning it is not a monster at all..."

"It is ill-advised to poke one's nose where it is unwelcome. A feline can be killed by curiosity…"

"Maybe so, but satisfaction will bring it clawing from the grave eight times over!" Such a clever and infuriating tongue, countering every defense he tried to cast… Before he could find anything else to cloak his lips, she cut him off. "Alright, I have entertained your game of jests... But enough is enough. I know you are eager to return to shore, but I have something more to say first." The normally unshakable maiden seemed to take a moment to find her courage, studying the ocean water between them. 

"I knew you would likely not be receptive to my words earlier, and perhaps you still will not be, but… I feel I must at least attempt to tell you. And I do hope very much that you will see my sincerity, and not take this as a generic comfort…" Glancing back up to confirm she had his reluctant attention, she continued.

"I am aware that you told me back at the amusement park that it is not my fault, and that I have nothing to apologize for. However, I must assure you that  _ the same applies to you _ now _ . _ As difficult as it is for you to accept, I will not stand for you to self-flagellate over such a matter!"

"During the…  _ event _ , I said nothing-"

"It was in your aura." she stated, with sharp eyes and without an ounce of doubt. He… could not argue with such solid proof. When he held his tongue, she continued. "What has transpired today is not  _ either _ of our faults. May we please agree on that concept? It is  _ not _ , as you are so fond of saying, 'The Will of Causality'. Because we did not cause it."

"And what logic, praytell, supports your inane theory?"

"Sometimes events, both blessings and tragedies, happen for no particular reason. Sometimes they happen for different reasons than we would expect. Perhaps the reason this happened was not either of our faults, but was destined to happen by a different, higher force. And… perhaps it was not to punish  _ you _ , but… to bring  _ us _ closer together… yes?"

"Are you truly suggesting that this was a  _ 'bonding experience?' _ " He couldn't help an incredulous snicker. Of all the ridiculous ways to try and put a pleasant spin on a tragedy! "You have more cotton in your skull than our foolish teacher!"

"Gaze past the surface of the matter, and then tell me that I am being foolish." the princess shrugged. "We have learned far more about each other."

_ You have learned my most humiliating weakness. _

"We have witnessed true vulnerability."

_ You saw me in the most revolting state possible. _

"I believe we have broken some walls down. And I think that is a wonderful thing."

"So that your traitorous ammunition can better reach me?" Hell! He hadn't meant to scoff that aloud! 

"So that I may defend you from the enemy  _ in place _ of those old, crumbling walls. Is that understandable? In the future, I will be able to form a proper battle plan, so that we are not taken by surprise again!"

"I  _ assure _ you, I will not require your defense again! Gundham Tanaka  _ will not _ require assistance in the future…"

"I have every hope that will be the case. However, it is always good to have an ally waiting in the wings for the most difficult battles, yes?"

He chose not to deign that with a response. After a few ticks of silence, she seemed to decide not to directly challenge him. Instead, she changed subjects. 

"I understand if you would like some time and privacy for yourself. Perhaps a few days, even. So I will do my utmost to respect your 'boundaries' once we get back. But…" She glanced up at him with an unusual display of nerves. She had pled with him often, but usually there was a hint of playfulness, or naivete. This time she seemed entirely serious. "Can you please make an oath to me? That you will not withdraw from my company forever?"

While most of this dreadful conversation had been irritating, or made his flesh burn hot with dread, he was admittedly… intrigued. He arched an eyebrow, studying her closely, but cautiously. Had she not said mere moments earlier that she desired nothing? So what was the truth behind this odd request, then? "An oath's bind is a rather intense contract. Why do you ask such a thing of me so suddenly?"

His query seemed to catch the princess off guard, and he was, perhaps a hint sadistically, glad to see her posture shrink. She sunk down until the water covered her shoulders and lapped at her chin, her locks swimming around her with each pulse of the waves. They reminded him of squirming eels, which seemed like adequate imagery for her discomfort. Her gaze remained downcast as she began to speak, and he swore there were shadows lurking within them, dulling their usual gem-like sparkle.

"I suppose it is fair of you to ask…" she murmured. "You see, back in Novoselic, though I was 'popular' as a ruler, I had great difficulty maintaining personal relationships with others. Anyone who was not a member of our Royal Family was always so nervous during outings or spending time within the castle walls when I invited them, or if I tried to partake in activities with the local children my age, they never seemed to act fully themselves… It was always great fun at first, but eventually some small thing or another would go wrong, like a faux pa at dinner, or the chair they had offered me would break, or I would end up sullied in mud- and it would all come to an abrupt end. Due to my name and social standing, I suppose they always felt they were not fit to be in my presence again. They seemed so full of anxiety around me, as if they would be tortured for the crime of a mere mistake… I tried my best to be approachable and to put them at ease, but I was always unsuccessful. They were determined to keep me on a pedestal, and would hide away whenever I tried to approach them afterwards, or even transfer to other tasks so that they needn't be around me any longer… It was  _ dreadfully lonely _ ." the princess confessed with a sigh. 

"My subjects and staff would bend over backwards every day to reassure me that my own shortcomings were nothing to worry about. _ 'Oh Princess Sonia, please do not fret! Seamstresses can repair the tapestry! You will have plenty of time to practice your coronation speeches! We were meaning to tear down the east wall anyways!' _ And so on it went! I suppose it is very kind of them to have been so supportive of me, but they would never allow me to repay them the same courtesy… I have always felt that was terribly unfair…" Shaking her head, she suddenly seemed full of renewed vigor, swimming closer and staring at him with wide eyes. Was that…  _ desperation _ he saw in them?

"Gundham, please understand that I greatly enjoy your company, and your teachings! In fact, I enjoy them even more than roller coasters or haunted houses! So that is why I must be so insistent that you take an oath! Because I cannot bear the thought of losing all of the future,  _ wonderful _ moments with you over a single unpleasant one! I cannot bear the thought of losing  _ you _ , Gundham… So  _ please _ , do not leave me out of shame for what has happened today, because I do not believe it is worth being ashamed of! And do not put me on a pedestal, unless that pedestal is equal to your own! The Dark Lord's pedestal is  _ just _ as majestic and impressive! And I shall not rest until I am assured that you will see that!"

It was certainly an impressive speech. Dramatic, emotional, with a hint of tragic backstory to add weight. He had to take some time to dwell on it properly, as well as add the required dramatic pause to his answer.

_ All of this time, I have been awaiting the moment that she would abandon me. What an ironic twist that she holds the same trepidation…  _

He supposed he understood it though. 

They shared the same mutual dark void, socially isolated from their 'peers' throughout their upbringing... Lonely creatures had an uncanny ability to find one another. Perhaps that had been what had drawn him to her aura initially. A human better than all the rest… and yet she still desired very strongly to experience their silly little past-times and rituals…

Bless her naivete. She had yet to learn how ill-advised such attempts were. How they would only be met with disappointment and further outcast. 

But… perhaps there were some lessons her tutor could spare teaching her. As she had pointed out earlier, an ally was a useful thing to have. And if an outcast were allied with someone else, then they were no longer classified as an outcast. A band of dashing rogues, perhaps.  _ Yes _ . A dark duo, striking magic and terror into any who  _ dared _ attempt to block them from their destinations!

_ If I cannot spare her from harm by casting her away with lines and walls, then… I suppose the brave and mighty sorcerer has no choice but to take her under his wing entirely! To protect her fragile heart from further curses! To abandon a lady now would be crueler than any wrath I would suffer at hell's hands! _

Yes. His mind was made up, and whether the Gods of Hell would be pleased or angered by his actions, he had no plans to revoke them. Clearing his throat, he did his best to strike a pose of proper dignity and importance. Which was rather difficult when most of his body was busy keeping afloat against the lapping waters and the mass of soaked cloth weighing his lithe frame down. Nevertheless, he was certain his powerful aura and majestic expression would be enough.

"The Lord of Hell has come to a decision."

The maiden perked up immediately, having been waiting patiently for him to finish thinking. "Oh?"

"Princess Sonia, Future Ruler of the great Novoselic Kingdom! I,  _ Gundham Tanak _ a, Ruler of Ice, Demon King of Hell, Ultimate Hellbeast Tamer,  _ and _ Occult Tutor, hereby take an oath to you! Despite the  _ utter evisceration _ of my dignity today, I shall not retreat below the surface of this miserable Earth to my lair for eternity, or otherwise abandon you!" After a moment of consideration though, he realized an addendum should probably be added. "The Devas and I may require a couple of moonrises before our spiritual energy has been replenished enough to venture back out though, if those are acceptable terms."

"Oh, of course! That is perfectly fine!"

"Very well! As another stipulation of the oath, I, Gundham Tanaka, shall not blindly worship you in the way all your meager mortal kind seem to, nor shall I grovel at your feet! Instead, thou shall be offered a place on equal ground to my own throne, above the Earthly Plane! We shall have equal power over humankind, as an unstoppable alliance! We shall gloat together, and if…  _ one of us _ happens to make a terrible mistake- we shall  _ share _ the burden together…" 'Share the burden.' He'd had to fight every demonic instinct to get those words to fall from his lips, but there was a bizarre weightlessness once they were in the air… 

Perhaps the angel's lovely wings were holding them. She certainly seemed pleased, clapping her hands briefly. "That was wonderful, thank you!" Clearing her throat, she put on her most official voice. "I, Ultimate Princess Sonia Nevermind, Future Ruler of the Novoselic Kingdom, accept your oath, Gundham Tanaka!"

"Excellent!" He had to admit, it was a relief to have an agreement. It was much easier to define their actions and relationship when it was laid out in clear terms. And hopefully this meant they could end this discussion and return to shore before his limbs collapsed. Even for a creature as mighty as he, trekking across multiple islands and then swimming had drained every ounce of stamina he possessed. However, there was one matter left to attend to. An oath must be solidified, and while spoken word was usually official enough, a milestone of this sort should be commemorated. "Now, to seal our mutual intent, shall we draw blood?"

"Ah, ordinarily I would be thrilled to! However..." Her smile fell as she hesitated, brows furrowing. "Wouldn't the ocean waves wash it away too quickly? I fear it will not be very potent if it is watered down…"

_ Curses! My mental prowess must be compromised from the effects of my status earlier… How could I have forgotten such a crucial detail? _

"Oh, that is… an astute observation, apprentice! Well done on passing my surprise test of your logic!" He began to force a cackle, but she spoke over him.

"Actually, I believe I may have another idea that will work as a seal. Would it be alright if I initiated it?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable, given that you are the recipient of my oath."

"Very well then. Please close your eyes and cease speaking.~"

He was not sure what sort of trick he was expecting. But he did not hear any intriguing chant. Nor did she offer to sacrifice them to the powers beyond, or choke him with his scarf, or start any other ritual. He briefly felt her hands brushing his wet hair aside, but she did not pluck a strand to receive his essence.

Instead, warm breath,  _ not the cold of a ghostly spirit _ , caressed his face. And before he could speak to question that, flesh met his lips and promptly muffled his scream. Scream,  _ a manly scream _ , certainly  _ not _ a squeak that was once again weaker than the Devas'. The flesh tasted vaguely of coconut, which he recognized as one of the scarce lip balm flavours available at the general store. Lip balm. Because the flesh against his mouth was in fact another pair of lips. Very soft and gentle ones. Oh Gods. 

_ Poseidon, may I request that you swallow me instead? _

Though his perception of time could have been altered by spells or other forms of witchcraft and trickery, he was relatively certain that she released him after a couple of seconds, perhaps even less. A mere peck, akin to that shared between a couple of songbirds. 

"There!" Princess Sonia smiled, pulling back to an appropriate distance. "Now the words between us have been tethered! An oral contract should be sealed  _ orally _ , yes?"

She must have sealed things too tightly, because he couldn't seem to bring a sound past his lips. Thankfully, her attention was swiftly pulled away from him and towards the shoreline. 

"Oh my, it seems the Devas are squeaking up quite a storm! I can see them jumping around on the rocks! I wonder, what has gotten them so wound up?" She stared at his companions curiously for a moment, then glanced back to him. "Perhaps you should return to them and head to your lair, and I shall go and spread the tale of your heroism to our classmates! Farewell, and I shall see you in a couple of moonrises, yes?"

Even this cool ocean wasn't easing the blaze upon his flesh! As he observed Princess Sonia swimming away, he felt as if his lungs were devoid of air, despite his head still being above water. He could scarcely think as he began swimming towards his cheering companions, and the walk towards his lair was a fog.

_ Not a psychic, or a witch, nor an angel. A siren! She must be a siren! _

He would certainly be led to his doom by such a stunning creature. But he had been awaiting his impending doom for his entire life, yes? If  _ this _ was the path his destiny was to take… he was quite compelled to follow it.

_ You are quite crafty Gods, aren't you? Bringing me down to a mortal's level so that I might stand equal to her... You wily devils...Thank you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (and sticking through my slow schedule, haha)! Please feel free to leave a comment (anon is fine too) or a kudos, I love hearing from you all! ❤
> 
> I love these two so much, this was an absolute blast to write!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! I absolutely loved working on this and look forward to posting the rest for Omovember! If you'd like, feel free to leave a kudos or a comment (anon is fine too), I love hearing from all of you! <3 Please have a lovely day!


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